I just watched The Notebook. Yeh i know i'm pretty outdated....but i gotta say that movie is heaps better than A Walk To Remember. Cried like shit. At least the movie has a happy ending & not a sad ending like how it was with walk to rmb.
Watching that movie triggered something inside me though....Something about the storyline brought back unpleasant memories..... Memories that left that scar.... When anything at all happens which has the slightest link to it, everything will come crashing back to me again, the past relived. So i've come to the conclusion: the scar is always gonna be there, will always be there & the mark will always be like adding salt to the wound whenever i watch/hear/sense (whatever) anything at all which has a link to my past. It'll never go away. Even if I think it's already gone away.
I'm either blind or ignorant...or maybe i just dont like to have something new unless i actually find something(someone?) i really really like, knowing how picky i am & having to match every trait of his to see if that person matches up to those things he has. Blind in the sense i cant see anyone else although there are so many more out there or it's just my stubborn heart. Ignorant in the sense that there are so many others who are interested but i just cant seem to accept them. Not even one. Maybe there's just something wrong with me.
Then there's this question i always ask myself - if i tell him/myself i'm over him, why do little "linking situations" like this still make those memories flood back as if someone was having me go thru the past again???
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
fantastic-fab day!!!
Firstly, it's cos im done!!! FREEDOM AT LAST!! & i got to finish the paper feeling happy rather than worried cos the paper was easy! Ok maybe i wont say easy. The paper was not really tough. =) Yep yep.
WOohoooO! So many things were on today. Sucha happy day really.
In the morning, there was this christmas parade on (yeh i know, i think aussies like to fast fwd their months from novemeber to a feel of december cos christmas decorations are already up everywhere) & the roads were all closed up for the parade. When i went out of my apmt today, ppl were everywhere on the road, lining up on either sides with chairs & balloons & kids everywhere...Sadly though, i couldnt be in the crowd & couldnt get to watch the parade cos i was making my way to chinatown to get the bus from there where the roads were not closed, to the exam place -_- So i missed the parade...! ="(
Neway, after the paper was done we all had lunch & because of the bloody hot weather all of us felt tired & decided to head home for a nap.. but instead (as usual) once reached home, the computer was turned on & the sleepiness just vanished. So chatted & chatted till it was 545pm then had to rush to go to church where there was this youth mass on at 6pm in conjunction with the upcoming World Youth Day!
For those of you who do not know what exactly it is, it's this huge event which is held once every 3 yrs in different, different countries across the world each time (sorta like olympics kinda feeling except in a religious sense!)
According to www.wyd2008.org, to be more precise: World Youth Day is the largest youth event in the world and will be held in Sydney from 15-20 July 2008. Organised by the Catholic Church, World Youth Day gathers young people from around the world to build bridges of friendship and hope between continents, peoples and cultures. Through the WYD08 experience, young people from throughout the world will make a pilgrimage in faith, meet, and experience the love of God. The young people will have an opportunity to rediscover their baptismal calling and the centrality of the sacraments of the Eucharist and reconciliation, and so discover a new apostolic zeal to witness more fully the Gospel in the modern world. All in the context of the beauty of Australia and the hospitality of the Australian people!
So that's why I'm gonna be in Sydney next year from 15-20 July! Yahooooo!!
Anyway, went for the youth mass & there was a procession after mass where the cross & icon of WYD was walked through the streets of adelaide. It was such an awesome feeling, really. If i had been in malaysia, NO WAY would i have been able to do such a thing. I doubt the cross & icon could even enter malaysian borders -_- But really, it was such a privilege to be able to be there at that point. To even be in australia as a whole. The timing of this whole WYD thing is just SO perfect! It being in aus just next year, otherwise i wouldnt have been able to attend it & would miss out on a once in a lifetime chance of it....
So yeh, after mass at 7pm, we waited outside church for the procession to begin & started walking thru the streets of adelaide. It was so fun! Felt like a parade more than anything else. hahahaa.. There were things given out like cool plastic candles which were able to light up, a wooden cross with 'WYD SYD 08' stamped on it & also helium balloons! It's been sucha long time since i actually held a helium balloon so it was kinda exciting. hahaah lol. I kno im pathetic.
There was this group of Africans playing music all the way during the procession, & those ppl carrying banners & the cross at the front of the procession. The cross & icon is actually the WYD cross & icon, which has travelled all around the world for all the WYD events. The same cross going across continents & borders, from Europe to Asia to everywhere. Could you imagine?! It was such an amazing feeling being able to be a part of it......
We walked thru adelaide city until 9pm when joanne, chastine & i decided to break off from the group & go grab dinner (since at that time we were passing by Rundle St where all the restaurants were & we were hungry!!). Half of me wanted to continue the procession back to church but i knew it was already 9pm & since i have got stomach problems, I had better get dinner so off we went to Scoozi with our helium balloons tied to the chair while having dinner. LOL. It was such a great way to end a happy day. I was SO happy i couldnt stop grinning like an idiot.
Anyway, pics would be posted up shortly!
WOohoooO! So many things were on today. Sucha happy day really.
In the morning, there was this christmas parade on (yeh i know, i think aussies like to fast fwd their months from novemeber to a feel of december cos christmas decorations are already up everywhere) & the roads were all closed up for the parade. When i went out of my apmt today, ppl were everywhere on the road, lining up on either sides with chairs & balloons & kids everywhere...Sadly though, i couldnt be in the crowd & couldnt get to watch the parade cos i was making my way to chinatown to get the bus from there where the roads were not closed, to the exam place -_- So i missed the parade...! ="(
Neway, after the paper was done we all had lunch & because of the bloody hot weather all of us felt tired & decided to head home for a nap.. but instead (as usual) once reached home, the computer was turned on & the sleepiness just vanished. So chatted & chatted till it was 545pm then had to rush to go to church where there was this youth mass on at 6pm in conjunction with the upcoming World Youth Day!
For those of you who do not know what exactly it is, it's this huge event which is held once every 3 yrs in different, different countries across the world each time (sorta like olympics kinda feeling except in a religious sense!)
According to www.wyd2008.org, to be more precise: World Youth Day is the largest youth event in the world and will be held in Sydney from 15-20 July 2008. Organised by the Catholic Church, World Youth Day gathers young people from around the world to build bridges of friendship and hope between continents, peoples and cultures. Through the WYD08 experience, young people from throughout the world will make a pilgrimage in faith, meet, and experience the love of God. The young people will have an opportunity to rediscover their baptismal calling and the centrality of the sacraments of the Eucharist and reconciliation, and so discover a new apostolic zeal to witness more fully the Gospel in the modern world. All in the context of the beauty of Australia and the hospitality of the Australian people!
So that's why I'm gonna be in Sydney next year from 15-20 July! Yahooooo!!
Anyway, went for the youth mass & there was a procession after mass where the cross & icon of WYD was walked through the streets of adelaide. It was such an awesome feeling, really. If i had been in malaysia, NO WAY would i have been able to do such a thing. I doubt the cross & icon could even enter malaysian borders -_- But really, it was such a privilege to be able to be there at that point. To even be in australia as a whole. The timing of this whole WYD thing is just SO perfect! It being in aus just next year, otherwise i wouldnt have been able to attend it & would miss out on a once in a lifetime chance of it....
So yeh, after mass at 7pm, we waited outside church for the procession to begin & started walking thru the streets of adelaide. It was so fun! Felt like a parade more than anything else. hahahaa.. There were things given out like cool plastic candles which were able to light up, a wooden cross with 'WYD SYD 08' stamped on it & also helium balloons! It's been sucha long time since i actually held a helium balloon so it was kinda exciting. hahaah lol. I kno im pathetic.
There was this group of Africans playing music all the way during the procession, & those ppl carrying banners & the cross at the front of the procession. The cross & icon is actually the WYD cross & icon, which has travelled all around the world for all the WYD events. The same cross going across continents & borders, from Europe to Asia to everywhere. Could you imagine?! It was such an amazing feeling being able to be a part of it......
We walked thru adelaide city until 9pm when joanne, chastine & i decided to break off from the group & go grab dinner (since at that time we were passing by Rundle St where all the restaurants were & we were hungry!!). Half of me wanted to continue the procession back to church but i knew it was already 9pm & since i have got stomach problems, I had better get dinner so off we went to Scoozi with our helium balloons tied to the chair while having dinner. LOL. It was such a great way to end a happy day. I was SO happy i couldnt stop grinning like an idiot.
Anyway, pics would be posted up shortly!
Friday, November 9, 2007
oh, hurry up & set me free!!!
My last paper would be in about....*count off fingers*....20 hours.
Then i'll be crying tears of joy when all my pain & suffering for at least 8 months would be over.
OVER!!!!
Oh, how i cant wait!
In the meanwhile, my brain is starting to abandon me. I'm supposed to be giving my all for my last paper but it seems Brain isn't listening to the commands of its Master.
*sigh*
I started to lose concentration last night when i was supposed to finish off the remaining 3 chapters...Instead of finishing them 3 I only managed to finish 1 -_- Then I couldnt sit still any longer although i knew i had 2 more chapters to go thru. SO then, I had to force myself to get up at 6am today to complete my task.
Yes. 6am.
............................................*wows to herself & pats herself on the back*
It's still sucky though. 6.45am - 11am. About FOUR freakin hours to finish 2 chapters!!!! My brain was seriously lagging, taking everything in SO damn slowly & daydreaming in between..otherwise I could have gotten my stuff done at bout 10 maybe??! I seriously hope i rmb everything that i've studied!!!
ARGH! Stupid Brain!! ='( ..for saying this i hope it doesn't rebel against me when i'm sitting for my paper tomorrow... it better not.
sigh. Look at that THICK accounting textbook & how much I gotta study... =(
yeh. I was studying! At least...trying to?? Nah, there's a word for it.....it's called MULTI-TASKING! If you're wondering what a piece-o-paper is doing on my lamp, it's cos it gets too bright for my eyes when i turn it on, so i just block off the bright light & direct it onto my books instead of my eyes. Innovative huh? tee-hee!
Sooooooo...it just goes to show how handy a camera can be! When you lose concentration, take some pictures!! Never said it'll help you get back to studying though....
ALrightY. It's time to hit the books again!
20 more hours!!! Or since time has passed while blogging this entry, i'll make it 19 hours 30 minutes more!!
YAHOOOOO!!!!!
Then i'll be crying tears of joy when all my pain & suffering for at least 8 months would be over.
OVER!!!!
Oh, how i cant wait!
In the meanwhile, my brain is starting to abandon me. I'm supposed to be giving my all for my last paper but it seems Brain isn't listening to the commands of its Master.
*sigh*
I started to lose concentration last night when i was supposed to finish off the remaining 3 chapters...Instead of finishing them 3 I only managed to finish 1 -_- Then I couldnt sit still any longer although i knew i had 2 more chapters to go thru. SO then, I had to force myself to get up at 6am today to complete my task.
Yes. 6am.
............................................*wows to herself & pats herself on the back*
It's still sucky though. 6.45am - 11am. About FOUR freakin hours to finish 2 chapters!!!! My brain was seriously lagging, taking everything in SO damn slowly & daydreaming in between..otherwise I could have gotten my stuff done at bout 10 maybe??! I seriously hope i rmb everything that i've studied!!!
ARGH! Stupid Brain!! ='( ..for saying this i hope it doesn't rebel against me when i'm sitting for my paper tomorrow... it better not.
sigh. Look at that THICK accounting textbook & how much I gotta study... =(
yeh. I was studying! At least...trying to?? Nah, there's a word for it.....it's called MULTI-TASKING! If you're wondering what a piece-o-paper is doing on my lamp, it's cos it gets too bright for my eyes when i turn it on, so i just block off the bright light & direct it onto my books instead of my eyes. Innovative huh? tee-hee!
Sooooooo...it just goes to show how handy a camera can be! When you lose concentration, take some pictures!! Never said it'll help you get back to studying though....
ALrightY. It's time to hit the books again!
20 more hours!!! Or since time has passed while blogging this entry, i'll make it 19 hours 30 minutes more!!
YAHOOOOO!!!!!
Friday, November 2, 2007
that's what you get for helping ppl out!! =D
WOOOOHOOoooooooo!!!!!
I got 5 bucks!!!! lol. I know it's not a biggie but it's considered RM 15!!! & you can get extra stuff than what you could get without this 5 bucks! & i didnt even have to really EARN it. WOOhoo!!!! I'm richer by 5 bucks!!!
WHY???
just because I helped 2 people out yesterday!
hahaahah.. man am i proud of myself now. LOL.
WOW.
What JOY! When i saw the money i couldnt stop smiling (that doesnt mean im money-faced!!)
Neway, yesterday i had just set off to cooking my dinner when the intercom buzzed. So had to leave my vege cooking for a while to go answer the phone. It seemed 2 people were locked out because they went out & they forgot to bring their key with them (& they both stay in a studio apmt, a 2-room unit.. meaning even if i let them into the apmt, they have no key to enter their unit as no one would be inside to let them in! - unlike our 4-bedroom unit)
SO then, this guy & girl were asking me to help them out, to call the Student Living after-hours emergency & ask whoever it was to come get them into their unit. So okaayyy..told them i'd do it & they told me they'd just stay outside the building & wait for the student living ppl to come.
Was feeling a little irritated cos i was cooking halfway...! When i replaced the receiver & went to check on my vege, found that they've already shrunk in size from overcooking & was on the process to being burned. -_-
ANYWAY! Had to turn off the stove & set my cooking aside for a while, went to get my phone & called the student living after-hour's thingy. The guy answered & i was explaining the whole scenario to him. THEN, he told me to get to those 2 & to tell them that he was going to have to charge them to get them their key....
I was like..."huh..i dont think it matters if you charge them cos either way, they'd need to get into their apmt!" .. I was being so clear that i was lazy to go downstairs just to tell those 2 that there was gonna be charges!! Pretty lame right?!
But the guy still insisted I go inform them that there'll be charges -_- BLoodY hell. If it was Malaysia, you didnt have to ask twice. It would mean profit!!!! GOsH.
So, feeling annoyed than ever, I had to take my keys & then went downstairs & outside to meet those 2. Lol. Seemed like those 2 were actually neighbours just living across the corridor from our unit. hahaha.. Was feeling sheepish then (& ashamed maybe, altho i didnt know them well) for being annoyed/irritated when helping someone out.
Told them what happened, yada yada...called the student living guy again & then finally said he'll be there in 15 minutes. All settled then! The girl was sooo appreciative saying thank you over & over, it made me feel happy for helping out. hahaah. I guess somehow you'd always feel happy after helping ppl out no matter how annoyed you were earlier...
Story ends when I left to resume my cooking. . . or so i thought.
I just went out to get a drink of water when i saw 5 bucks on the table on top of a piece of paper which had been peeled off from somewhere (prolly our door) cos there was sticky tape on it. Couldnt help but feel curious so went to take a look. & yes! It was for me! hahahaa..That's why i couldnt stop smiling when i saw it. It was so unexpected & so unnecessary & so sweet of them & so thoughtful & so grateful...whoaaahh. SO many things at once. They were thanking me for getting them into their apmt & saying the 5 bucks should be enough to cover the cost of the phone call & my time.
SO SWEET HUH!? I didnt expect anything in return at all but when things happen unexpectedly, it's when the benefit is at its max. lol. Now i feel like doing more good deeds. hahha. No, not for money but cos it just makes yr heart smile =) !
I got 5 bucks!!!! lol. I know it's not a biggie but it's considered RM 15!!! & you can get extra stuff than what you could get without this 5 bucks! & i didnt even have to really EARN it. WOOhoo!!!! I'm richer by 5 bucks!!!
WHY???
just because I helped 2 people out yesterday!
hahaahah.. man am i proud of myself now. LOL.
WOW.
What JOY! When i saw the money i couldnt stop smiling (that doesnt mean im money-faced!!)
Neway, yesterday i had just set off to cooking my dinner when the intercom buzzed. So had to leave my vege cooking for a while to go answer the phone. It seemed 2 people were locked out because they went out & they forgot to bring their key with them (& they both stay in a studio apmt, a 2-room unit.. meaning even if i let them into the apmt, they have no key to enter their unit as no one would be inside to let them in! - unlike our 4-bedroom unit)
SO then, this guy & girl were asking me to help them out, to call the Student Living after-hours emergency & ask whoever it was to come get them into their unit. So okaayyy..told them i'd do it & they told me they'd just stay outside the building & wait for the student living ppl to come.
Was feeling a little irritated cos i was cooking halfway...! When i replaced the receiver & went to check on my vege, found that they've already shrunk in size from overcooking & was on the process to being burned. -_-
ANYWAY! Had to turn off the stove & set my cooking aside for a while, went to get my phone & called the student living after-hour's thingy. The guy answered & i was explaining the whole scenario to him. THEN, he told me to get to those 2 & to tell them that he was going to have to charge them to get them their key....
I was like..."huh..i dont think it matters if you charge them cos either way, they'd need to get into their apmt!" .. I was being so clear that i was lazy to go downstairs just to tell those 2 that there was gonna be charges!! Pretty lame right?!
But the guy still insisted I go inform them that there'll be charges -_- BLoodY hell. If it was Malaysia, you didnt have to ask twice. It would mean profit!!!! GOsH.
So, feeling annoyed than ever, I had to take my keys & then went downstairs & outside to meet those 2. Lol. Seemed like those 2 were actually neighbours just living across the corridor from our unit. hahaha.. Was feeling sheepish then (& ashamed maybe, altho i didnt know them well) for being annoyed/irritated when helping someone out.
Told them what happened, yada yada...called the student living guy again & then finally said he'll be there in 15 minutes. All settled then! The girl was sooo appreciative saying thank you over & over, it made me feel happy for helping out. hahaah. I guess somehow you'd always feel happy after helping ppl out no matter how annoyed you were earlier...
Story ends when I left to resume my cooking. . . or so i thought.
I just went out to get a drink of water when i saw 5 bucks on the table on top of a piece of paper which had been peeled off from somewhere (prolly our door) cos there was sticky tape on it. Couldnt help but feel curious so went to take a look. & yes! It was for me! hahahaa..That's why i couldnt stop smiling when i saw it. It was so unexpected & so unnecessary & so sweet of them & so thoughtful & so grateful...whoaaahh. SO many things at once. They were thanking me for getting them into their apmt & saying the 5 bucks should be enough to cover the cost of the phone call & my time.
SO SWEET HUH!? I didnt expect anything in return at all but when things happen unexpectedly, it's when the benefit is at its max. lol. Now i feel like doing more good deeds. hahha. No, not for money but cos it just makes yr heart smile =) !
Friday, October 26, 2007
EWWWWW!!
I just have to write about this. I don't know why..! But guess am taking this as a relaxation kinda thing since i havent written in a while...
Neway the thing is...as i got off the tram today at Victoria Square, there were lotsa ppl as usual at the platform & so happened, the other tram was already there, the one heading the direction I came from. Was making my way towards the traffic lights whilst ppl were getting into the tram in front of me.
THEN......
this GUY.
He caught my attention because
1) He was walking the opposite direction, making his way to the tram (the one in front of me, not the one i came out of)
2) He had a three quarter sleeve black top on which was kinda tight but I guess that wasn't really a biggie
3) The shirt he had on was short. & I mean SHORT. I think that was what caught my attention in the first place. Guys as usual, have their jeans loose..his shirt wasnt long enough to cover his pants so the belt & everything could be seen. Just picture how short the shirt was. Loose pants yet there was flesh in sight. The distance between the top of his pants/belt area and his shirt was relatively great
4) As he was waiting to get into the tram, (he would have turned his back to me by then)...the thing i saw next practically made me go "what the f**K!!!" to myself. Rmb his pants were loose & his shirt short? But man. I did NOT expect his pants to be loose to the extent that almost half of his arse line could be seen. Ok maybe not half. More like a quarter??? BUT IT WAS SO HIDEOUS!!! *faint*
5) Seeing a quarter/half of his arse line indicated so obviously he wasn't wearing any underwear/boxers.
DISGUSTING!!!!!!
It was TOTALLY an eye-sore!!!
I bet ppl behind him who were waiting to get into the tram were also staring at 'it'. In broad daylight. SO clear. & so ugly.
Man. SO yucky. I wonder if he realises. or he just didnt bother.
Bah. Can't stand it. I felt like lifting his pants up for him. Nah. Just kidding.
The line was so friggin ugly. I can go on & on about it but then i'd just be repeating the same thing. lol. Something's up with me. I think it's exam fever.
But yeh. His arse line was ugly. Ok. That'll be my last comment.
Neway the thing is...as i got off the tram today at Victoria Square, there were lotsa ppl as usual at the platform & so happened, the other tram was already there, the one heading the direction I came from. Was making my way towards the traffic lights whilst ppl were getting into the tram in front of me.
THEN......
this GUY.
He caught my attention because
1) He was walking the opposite direction, making his way to the tram (the one in front of me, not the one i came out of)
2) He had a three quarter sleeve black top on which was kinda tight but I guess that wasn't really a biggie
3) The shirt he had on was short. & I mean SHORT. I think that was what caught my attention in the first place. Guys as usual, have their jeans loose..his shirt wasnt long enough to cover his pants so the belt & everything could be seen. Just picture how short the shirt was. Loose pants yet there was flesh in sight. The distance between the top of his pants/belt area and his shirt was relatively great
4) As he was waiting to get into the tram, (he would have turned his back to me by then)...the thing i saw next practically made me go "what the f**K!!!" to myself. Rmb his pants were loose & his shirt short? But man. I did NOT expect his pants to be loose to the extent that almost half of his arse line could be seen. Ok maybe not half. More like a quarter??? BUT IT WAS SO HIDEOUS!!! *faint*
5) Seeing a quarter/half of his arse line indicated so obviously he wasn't wearing any underwear/boxers.
DISGUSTING!!!!!!
It was TOTALLY an eye-sore!!!
I bet ppl behind him who were waiting to get into the tram were also staring at 'it'. In broad daylight. SO clear. & so ugly.
Man. SO yucky. I wonder if he realises. or he just didnt bother.
Bah. Can't stand it. I felt like lifting his pants up for him. Nah. Just kidding.
The line was so friggin ugly. I can go on & on about it but then i'd just be repeating the same thing. lol. Something's up with me. I think it's exam fever.
But yeh. His arse line was ugly. Ok. That'll be my last comment.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
ARGH!
This thing about 'fattism'
makes me have depression
but the fact that i cant do nethin bout it til i get back
only makes me the more fat
='(
sniff
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I Want That Guy
I want a guy who is genuine
who is not afraid to be himself
I want a guy who cares
who puts me before anythin else
I want a guy who is funny
who'd make me laugh all the time
I want a guy who is sweet
who's good with words so fine
If only it was that easy
I know nobody's perfect
But if i could get someone
I want that guy
I want a guy who is romantic
who'd do things i never thought about
I want a guy who is playful
who'd give me the look & is able to pout
I want a guy who sings
so i'd wake up every morning to a song
I want a guy who's knowledgeable
so i'll learn from him as i go along
If only it was that easy
I know nobody's perfect
But if i could get someone
I want that guy
Want a guy who doesn't have too much pride
Want a guy who's willing to express himself
Want a guy who wants to be by my side
Want a guy who listens to his heart
Want a guy who doesn't run away
Want a guy who'd deal with things
Want a guy who lets me have a say
Want a guy who's there to listen
If he has all these
I want that guy
If i wake up & he's there
He'll be mine
who is not afraid to be himself
I want a guy who cares
who puts me before anythin else
I want a guy who is funny
who'd make me laugh all the time
I want a guy who is sweet
who's good with words so fine
If only it was that easy
I know nobody's perfect
But if i could get someone
I want that guy
I want a guy who is romantic
who'd do things i never thought about
I want a guy who is playful
who'd give me the look & is able to pout
I want a guy who sings
so i'd wake up every morning to a song
I want a guy who's knowledgeable
so i'll learn from him as i go along
If only it was that easy
I know nobody's perfect
But if i could get someone
I want that guy
Want a guy who doesn't have too much pride
Want a guy who's willing to express himself
Want a guy who wants to be by my side
Want a guy who listens to his heart
Want a guy who doesn't run away
Want a guy who'd deal with things
Want a guy who lets me have a say
Want a guy who's there to listen
If he has all these
I want that guy
If i wake up & he's there
He'll be mine
Yeh, it's what you think it is. The lyrics to my latest song. ^-^
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
DECISIONS!!!!
Should I go back on the 15th & celebrate my birthday with friends & family back home
OR
Should I stay back here to celebrate my birthday in a new place for ONCE with friends here & go back on the 17th?!
Half of me can't wait to pack up & go home asap, but half of me wants to stay back here to celebrate my birthday with the peeps here!
WHAT DO I DO?
As usual, i cant make a decision! How exciting!!! -_-
OR
Should I stay back here to celebrate my birthday in a new place for ONCE with friends here & go back on the 17th?!
Half of me can't wait to pack up & go home asap, but half of me wants to stay back here to celebrate my birthday with the peeps here!
WHAT DO I DO?
As usual, i cant make a decision! How exciting!!! -_-
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
to the soft-hearted
i was tlkin to a friend about something, relating myself to a situation & asking her if she would do the same if she was in the situation faced by A. What she said next was:
"that's what sets u apart from us....u're very soft hearted"
Ok, maybe i sort of knew this already. But at that point she said it, it felt as though i was hit on the head. Something jolted me & woke me up. After all this time, i guess it's useful to be reminded of that....
I think that's the factor which makes me get 'stepped on' in love...
...or that ppl sometimes take advantage of me with watever intentions they may have.
That's the reason why i get hurt so easily....
...or that i feel sensitive over things relating to the heart.
Maybe that explains why my tear ducts are extra sensitive too.
Listening to a sad song, watching some touchy romance movie, getting support from ppl at times when i need it, reminiscing the times with him, friends' farewells...even a surprise by friends could trigger my tear ducts. Which reminds me of one embarrassing incident which happened at gurney a few years back where 2 of my good friends surprised me on my birthday.. altho it being a belated one. I'll never forget that so-called episode. lol. I had to hide at some corner & waited till i got 'control' of my sensitivity. -_- Not to mention the rest of the surprises i've come across. So ppl, now you know. If you ever wanna surprise me, DON'T DO IT IN PUBLIC!!!
Meh.
I'll never be a BITCH (beauty in total control of herself) although i actually tried so hard to be one before. I need to harden up my heart! Even if a little.....
It's so silly. He knows i'm soft-hearted. & he takes advantage whenever he can. I'm stupid as well. For allowing him that sense of power. Why? I just can't help myself.
I need tough-heart lessons!
PS. if you're wondering, the previous post is not related to me at all. I mean, it is related to me in a third party link kinda way. ok. i dont make sense. nvm. all i'm trying to say is, it isn't about love on my side. still don't make sense. forget it.
......
stupid
blog
i hate the feeling of being used.
doesnt let me
create
but i can't do anything about it.
spaces
annoying
!!!
..............................................love is so messy & complicated. sometimes i wonder how it could be the most beautiful thing at the same time......
grr
grr
grrrr
Monday, October 1, 2007
hah.
I'M
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i shall create spaces
MANUALLY
Not wanting to be mean or smug, but i can't help myself hey. I just HAVE to say this:
-_-
meh
You just 'suffered' a loss!
It's totally your loss.
Ok, now time to truely go fishing. But since I'm so impatient, i dont think fishing is the right activity for me. I prefer something with more action like tennis or pool or dancing or basketball or...ok. getting outta topic. But yeh. Fishing is such a no-no. It's boring. I'll get impatient. I need something other than sitting & waitin for the fish to bite the bait. I need something else..... I wonder what that is. Maybe it should be hunting. Mmmmm.......
Let's go hunting, girls~!!! =D
* only 'special' ppl know what i mean by this entry, but doesnt mean those who're trying to make out the hidden meaning of this 'creative' entry arent special =P You could ask me what it means if you really are a busy-body.... lalalaa......... =)
here we go
again
Friday, September 28, 2007
Contradiction.
I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one who's in your arms
Who holds you tight...
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way
I wanna be with you.........
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
.........at the same time i don't wanna be with you......
just cos you're not worth it...
so then, why do i still wanna be with you!?
decisions, decisions.............
such a bad decision maker ---> me
At the end of the day, i'll end up at the same point: wanting to be with you yet not wanting to at the same time.
what 'joy'.
sigh.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
WOooooSAaaaA...........
I hate it everytime i stress......................!!!!
It's SO hard to get myself together....everything just seems like it's falling apart!
I used to be a "stressor" back home everytime nearing the exams or when there'd be assignments due etc...but the stress levels have gotten SO much worse over here to the point of breaking down. Prolly cos parents aren't around to manage things & you gotta manage everything on your own! Laundry, food, trasportation (walking takes up time you know!) & their mere presence which would somehow calm things down a bit??? You don't stress as much when you're around ppl than when you're by yourself!
Aaahhhhhh......!!
Ok, ok. No point stressing. It'll mess up my hormones & just make me more sick than I am right now. But why cant I not stress.. or rather, HOW do i not stress!? *sniff*
This is insane stressing. I should take one step at a time, one day at a time & not look to the future..............
Who cares if exam starts on the 3rd of november & that the syllabus for all 4 subjects only finishes 2 weeks before exam (ridiculous aint it!?)..& that there'd be only one study week right after that?!
HOW CAN I NOT CARE????????????
*faint*
On the brighter side, at least i finish early & can even go back right after the paper if i want to on the 10th...
Sucha waste tho. I wanted to celebrate my birthday here!! But it seems exam ends earlier than anticipated. If i stayed back to celebrate my birthday, most of them would have already gone back, seemingly as we're all doing the same course (& everyone would wanna rush home as soon as they can) & I would be staying back another 6 'wasted' days...As for the rest, they'd be having their exams during that period so...................hmm...no point staying back....???
AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh...I just cant wait to go homeeeeee!! AFter alll the stress & 'hardship' of living on my own.. I need to be pampered!!! With good (expensive) food...a nice, clean & cosy home with my own beloved room i didnt think i'd miss....my friendss...gurney!!! & GSC...the car!!!!!!............& the club! Gosh. Need to go swimming/gym everyday & burn off everything i piled on over here the 2-3months i'm back! It's not impossible!!
YAY! I can't wait to go back now.....!!!!
BRING IT ON, EXAMS! I'LL FACE YOU HEAD-ON!!
wooohooo!
If only i'll continue to feel this optimistic tomoro onwards til i'm done with the papers.....
SLIM CHANCE!
It's SO hard to get myself together....everything just seems like it's falling apart!
I used to be a "stressor" back home everytime nearing the exams or when there'd be assignments due etc...but the stress levels have gotten SO much worse over here to the point of breaking down. Prolly cos parents aren't around to manage things & you gotta manage everything on your own! Laundry, food, trasportation (walking takes up time you know!) & their mere presence which would somehow calm things down a bit??? You don't stress as much when you're around ppl than when you're by yourself!
Aaahhhhhh......!!
Ok, ok. No point stressing. It'll mess up my hormones & just make me more sick than I am right now. But why cant I not stress.. or rather, HOW do i not stress!? *sniff*
This is insane stressing. I should take one step at a time, one day at a time & not look to the future..............
Who cares if exam starts on the 3rd of november & that the syllabus for all 4 subjects only finishes 2 weeks before exam (ridiculous aint it!?)..& that there'd be only one study week right after that?!
HOW CAN I NOT CARE????????????
*faint*
On the brighter side, at least i finish early & can even go back right after the paper if i want to on the 10th...
Sucha waste tho. I wanted to celebrate my birthday here!! But it seems exam ends earlier than anticipated. If i stayed back to celebrate my birthday, most of them would have already gone back, seemingly as we're all doing the same course (& everyone would wanna rush home as soon as they can) & I would be staying back another 6 'wasted' days...As for the rest, they'd be having their exams during that period so...................hmm...no point staying back....???
AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh...I just cant wait to go homeeeeee!! AFter alll the stress & 'hardship' of living on my own.. I need to be pampered!!! With good (expensive) food...a nice, clean & cosy home with my own beloved room i didnt think i'd miss....my friendss...gurney!!! & GSC...the car!!!!!!............& the club! Gosh. Need to go swimming/gym everyday & burn off everything i piled on over here the 2-3months i'm back! It's not impossible!!
YAY! I can't wait to go back now.....!!!!
BRING IT ON, EXAMS! I'LL FACE YOU HEAD-ON!!
wooohooo!
If only i'll continue to feel this optimistic tomoro onwards til i'm done with the papers.....
SLIM CHANCE!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thank You God for Everything!!
From TWO dilemmas........
to ZERO dilemma.
......in just a little more than 2 hours.
I feel so free!!!!
& so relieved....
....& so grateful for everything.
*sigh in contentment*
to ZERO dilemma.
......in just a little more than 2 hours.
I feel so free!!!!
& so relieved....
....& so grateful for everything.
*sigh in contentment*
blessings.....that lead to a dilemma??
My group of friends has grown in sem 2 compared to sem 1 & i reeeally really can't thank god enough for answering my prayers & letting me meet really awesome people I can really 'connect' with.
The problem now isss....
How do you split yourself into 3 pieces (or more) according to different groups of friends...??? Things would be wayy easier if i could just merge them all??? That way all of us would be mutual friends & the entire group would hang out altogether & there wouldnt be any hassle & everyone would be in "harmony". But things in life don't just happen so easily, do they??? I wish they did.....
Merging everyone together is possible, but would everyone click with one another?? That's the reason why I have different groups of friends in uni itself cos people just have different personalities, different preferences, tastes, differerent things in common!! At the end of the day, the merged group (IF all were to be merged) would somehow just stick to the people which have got similar tastes as they do..& the group would go back to square one, all split accordingly. Am i right??!! Oh gosh.
FRUSTRATED
I LOVE MY FRIENDSssssssssssssss...!!!!
I really do. Friends are like the most important ppl besides family...Ppl who know me well would know how i cherish my friends.
If i could split myself, things would be fine!
Why do i feel guilty?! It feels as if i'm not spending enough time with one group of friends than the other or another....argh!! Is it me, or is it them...? I am so cluelesss..!! I seem to not know what is happening with group A these days. Prolly cos it's partially my fault since i'm just soo lazy to chat on msn these days unless ppl click on me. yeh yeh *roll eyes* i admit i've become one of those ppl i couldnt really stand (cos you gotta always click on them before they actually tlk to you). lol.
Neway yeh. My concept in things now is that I'll hang out with whomever asks me out first. Group B has things going on most of the time, so i've been hanging out with group B often these days, but that doesnt mean i've neglected group A. Cos i know i havent. BUt i dont know why i get this feeling that they think i've neglected them or something =\ oh gosh. help meeeeee...!! I mean, i'm tryinggg... I'm trying to split my time, so i can accommodate them all & not seem like the bad person..like i'm choosing group B or C over group A, or that i'm choosing group A over group C...whatever it is!!!
EE LIN, PRAS...whoemverrrrrrrrrrrr..Am i doing the right thing?? Gosh, please tell me, cos i really dont know if this tactic is the right thing to do... *sob*
This has no relevance whatsoever, but after anthony's death, i feel like i've become so emo, a lil thing which happens just triggers my emotions & makes me depressed, or stressed or frustrated so easily. I hate feeling this way... But how do you keep everyone close to you when you have to manage a few groups at once..?
I really do not know...
I think i'll just go with the flow...
Yep, that's what i'll do.
I just don't want any miscommunications or misunderstandings that i always choose one group over the other group.
Yes??
..................
CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The problem now isss....
How do you split yourself into 3 pieces (or more) according to different groups of friends...??? Things would be wayy easier if i could just merge them all??? That way all of us would be mutual friends & the entire group would hang out altogether & there wouldnt be any hassle & everyone would be in "harmony". But things in life don't just happen so easily, do they??? I wish they did.....
Merging everyone together is possible, but would everyone click with one another?? That's the reason why I have different groups of friends in uni itself cos people just have different personalities, different preferences, tastes, differerent things in common!! At the end of the day, the merged group (IF all were to be merged) would somehow just stick to the people which have got similar tastes as they do..& the group would go back to square one, all split accordingly. Am i right??!! Oh gosh.
FRUSTRATED
I LOVE MY FRIENDSssssssssssssss...!!!!
I really do. Friends are like the most important ppl besides family...Ppl who know me well would know how i cherish my friends.
If i could split myself, things would be fine!
Why do i feel guilty?! It feels as if i'm not spending enough time with one group of friends than the other or another....argh!! Is it me, or is it them...? I am so cluelesss..!! I seem to not know what is happening with group A these days. Prolly cos it's partially my fault since i'm just soo lazy to chat on msn these days unless ppl click on me. yeh yeh *roll eyes* i admit i've become one of those ppl i couldnt really stand (cos you gotta always click on them before they actually tlk to you). lol.
Neway yeh. My concept in things now is that I'll hang out with whomever asks me out first. Group B has things going on most of the time, so i've been hanging out with group B often these days, but that doesnt mean i've neglected group A. Cos i know i havent. BUt i dont know why i get this feeling that they think i've neglected them or something =\ oh gosh. help meeeeee...!! I mean, i'm tryinggg... I'm trying to split my time, so i can accommodate them all & not seem like the bad person..like i'm choosing group B or C over group A, or that i'm choosing group A over group C...whatever it is!!!
EE LIN, PRAS...whoemverrrrrrrrrrrr..Am i doing the right thing?? Gosh, please tell me, cos i really dont know if this tactic is the right thing to do... *sob*
This has no relevance whatsoever, but after anthony's death, i feel like i've become so emo, a lil thing which happens just triggers my emotions & makes me depressed, or stressed or frustrated so easily. I hate feeling this way... But how do you keep everyone close to you when you have to manage a few groups at once..?
I really do not know...
I think i'll just go with the flow...
Yep, that's what i'll do.
I just don't want any miscommunications or misunderstandings that i always choose one group over the other group.
Yes??
..................
CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
swollen eyes..a heavy heart....but nothing can bring him back......
How could someone die like this.....?? He got knocked down by someone... It wasn't even his fault...!! That's the worst thing EVER. A hit and run......... That *&%$# person cost his life just like that...!!!
What's wrong with ppl in this world these days???? Why do they do things that are out of this...thinking or just totally out of what a human mind is able to make out?!? Why do they have brains when they do things which are just unthinkable??!
Oh gosh.....I still can't really believe it... An innocent life........Everything just seems so unfair at this point...
Sigh...now that he's gone, i think about him more than ever...and it hurts to think that i'll never get to talk to him anymore.....
...............the tears will keep flowing everytime i think about him...............................
One lesson i learned from this is that we should never take anything for granted.....
Life is just too short...
What's wrong with ppl in this world these days???? Why do they do things that are out of this...thinking or just totally out of what a human mind is able to make out?!? Why do they have brains when they do things which are just unthinkable??!
Oh gosh.....I still can't really believe it... An innocent life........Everything just seems so unfair at this point...
Sigh...now that he's gone, i think about him more than ever...and it hurts to think that i'll never get to talk to him anymore.....
...............the tears will keep flowing everytime i think about him...............................
One lesson i learned from this is that we should never take anything for granted.....
Life is just too short...
Friday, September 7, 2007
Life is short and unpredictable.....
*sigh*...i don't even know how to begin.. Everything still seems as though it's a lie..but if it was really a lie.......i wouldnt be crying my eyes out.........
I was checking my mail and there was one with the subject "prayer for anthony". I knew it wasnt good, but what i had in mind was that he had some kinda illness or is admitted into hospital due to something...Clicked on the link to open the mail, feeling sorta worried with what was wrong with him......
I was TOTALLY not prepared for what the whole thing was all about...
Read the first sentence....and........i felt my heart break and plummet to my stomach...It was so sudden, i wasn't prepared, i never knew such a thing could happen to somebody i knew and was so close to, somebody i used to share part of my life with. I was too shocked to cry, I kept reading the sentence over and over again till it made sense and then the tears flowed... It couldnt be trueee............................!!!!!!!
.....but i guess i can't lie to myself and believe he's still living in this world when he's passed away.................
sigh. What is god's plan exactly......??? He's just 30..a whole life ahead of him and .. i dont even know how/what happened!! Knocked down by a car accident? What, was he in the car? Or crossing the road when some stupid driver knocked him??! Whose fault was it?!!
OMG!! It feels so unreal!! How could he be......... ='( I find it so hard to believe......................... I keep thinking i'd meet up with him one day..which is what i've always wondered...when we'd ever meet up...It looks like we'll never meet again............
Anthony used to be the bass guitarist in Young Praisers, the church band i'm in...we used to have loads of fun, he was always the crazy guy, cracking lots of stupid jokes..although he was the eldest among all, he acted our age...He was always there..a good listener and advisor...I loved him. Everybody did....He had to stop playing for YP cos he had to move to KL to work and I never got to see him every weekend anymore at church.....We'd always keep in touch on the phone, he'd call now and then and we'd chat for an hour on the phone, talking about nonsense, but he'd always make me hang up with a big stupid smile on my face. I would always be wondering when he'd hav a business trip down to penang or a leave or whatever from work....he hardly goes down to penang ever since he moved to KL due to being SO busy at work...We only met up once when he went down to penang and that was like....2005??! Didn't see him ever since......never gonna be able to see him anymore. Why, why....why does this have to happen....I don't understand.........=(
I can't accept this.......!!!!!!! The last conversation we had on the phone was before I came here in january... I get fwded emails from him occasionally. I can't imagine having everything about him suddenly gone from my life. How could it?!! I never got to tell him that I think about him sometimes and miss him..although miles away... gosh. I havent seen him for soo long....!!! Why couldnt I just meet him again before he goes??
My nose is so stuffed I have to breathe thru my mouth and my eyes feel so swollen... but all this doesnt make my heart feel whole although it's said that crying makes things better.........W-H-Y... I don't think i'll ever understand why.. If only god could tell me why...
sigh.
May his soul rest in peace.......
PS. When things like this happen...(this is the first time someone so dear to me has left me.. not taking into account grandparents...those are natural deaths/deaths due to old age...but such sudden deaths.............this is the first..and i hope it's the one and only....) it really shakes me up to realise how someone next to you could just go in a blink of an eye. You dont know when at all it could happen..........
To all my friends out there...i know nothing's gonna happen to you, it better not. But if ( again, it better not..ever ever) god decides to take you away... know that you ppl mean a lot.. & i mean A LOT to me. Without you, my life would be nothing. Each one of you contributes something to make life fuller and prettier. I dont know what I'd do without you guys!! Love y'all lots......
& i think i'm going blind at this stage...
I was checking my mail and there was one with the subject "prayer for anthony". I knew it wasnt good, but what i had in mind was that he had some kinda illness or is admitted into hospital due to something...Clicked on the link to open the mail, feeling sorta worried with what was wrong with him......
I was TOTALLY not prepared for what the whole thing was all about...
Read the first sentence....and........i felt my heart break and plummet to my stomach...It was so sudden, i wasn't prepared, i never knew such a thing could happen to somebody i knew and was so close to, somebody i used to share part of my life with. I was too shocked to cry, I kept reading the sentence over and over again till it made sense and then the tears flowed... It couldnt be trueee............................!!!!!!!
.....but i guess i can't lie to myself and believe he's still living in this world when he's passed away.................
sigh. What is god's plan exactly......??? He's just 30..a whole life ahead of him and .. i dont even know how/what happened!! Knocked down by a car accident? What, was he in the car? Or crossing the road when some stupid driver knocked him??! Whose fault was it?!!
OMG!! It feels so unreal!! How could he be......... ='( I find it so hard to believe......................... I keep thinking i'd meet up with him one day..which is what i've always wondered...when we'd ever meet up...It looks like we'll never meet again............
Anthony used to be the bass guitarist in Young Praisers, the church band i'm in...we used to have loads of fun, he was always the crazy guy, cracking lots of stupid jokes..although he was the eldest among all, he acted our age...He was always there..a good listener and advisor...I loved him. Everybody did....He had to stop playing for YP cos he had to move to KL to work and I never got to see him every weekend anymore at church.....We'd always keep in touch on the phone, he'd call now and then and we'd chat for an hour on the phone, talking about nonsense, but he'd always make me hang up with a big stupid smile on my face. I would always be wondering when he'd hav a business trip down to penang or a leave or whatever from work....he hardly goes down to penang ever since he moved to KL due to being SO busy at work...We only met up once when he went down to penang and that was like....2005??! Didn't see him ever since......never gonna be able to see him anymore. Why, why....why does this have to happen....I don't understand.........=(
I can't accept this.......!!!!!!! The last conversation we had on the phone was before I came here in january... I get fwded emails from him occasionally. I can't imagine having everything about him suddenly gone from my life. How could it?!! I never got to tell him that I think about him sometimes and miss him..although miles away... gosh. I havent seen him for soo long....!!! Why couldnt I just meet him again before he goes??
My nose is so stuffed I have to breathe thru my mouth and my eyes feel so swollen... but all this doesnt make my heart feel whole although it's said that crying makes things better.........W-H-Y... I don't think i'll ever understand why.. If only god could tell me why...
sigh.
May his soul rest in peace.......
PS. When things like this happen...(this is the first time someone so dear to me has left me.. not taking into account grandparents...those are natural deaths/deaths due to old age...but such sudden deaths.............this is the first..and i hope it's the one and only....) it really shakes me up to realise how someone next to you could just go in a blink of an eye. You dont know when at all it could happen..........
To all my friends out there...i know nothing's gonna happen to you, it better not. But if ( again, it better not..ever ever) god decides to take you away... know that you ppl mean a lot.. & i mean A LOT to me. Without you, my life would be nothing. Each one of you contributes something to make life fuller and prettier. I dont know what I'd do without you guys!! Love y'all lots......
& i think i'm going blind at this stage...
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
yahooooo..!!!
Happy happy!
I bought a new camera today! Lol. Feels so unreal actually having a new camera already.. i bought it so quick...hehehh..But i dont think i'll be able to survive till november to go back and buy, so decided to just get it today since one shop still has the father's day promotion on.
I am now the proud owner of a Canon Ixus 70.
woohoo..!!!
& i really hope & pray that no other series of unfortunate camera events will befall me....The first camera i had, an Olympus brand, only lasted for bout 3 years when something happened to it and it got spoiled on its own. The screen actually went static. Or whatever it's called. It had those black and white lines...as in how a TV would have if there's something wrong with the signal and stuff. Stupid camera. Boycotted Olympus since that incident.
Then the second camera............my A540 Canon PowerShot............sigh. Still so sad & guilty thinking about it. But at least I already told my parents, so burden off my shoulders. Of course, mom sorta 'shouted' and i don't blame her cos i was 'shouting' myself in my heart all this while. lol. It's just one year old. Argh.. yeah still very frustrated. ONE YEAR OLDDddddddd!!!!
okok.. Now, my new & third camera. I hope this camera will last me at least 10 years or around there. I hope I'll use it to the fullest before something happens to it and it gets spoiled by itself or it gets spoiled due to some human carelessness. AT least more than 5 years..if it doesnt last more than 5 years..........gahhh!! no-no. After all i've been thru with cameras, it better last me a great deal of time. Preferably until i get married and have at least one kid.
Canon Ixus 70, make sure you survive till I'm 30!
oooh..! look at how good i'm at at rhymes!
I bought a new camera today! Lol. Feels so unreal actually having a new camera already.. i bought it so quick...hehehh..But i dont think i'll be able to survive till november to go back and buy, so decided to just get it today since one shop still has the father's day promotion on.
I am now the proud owner of a Canon Ixus 70.
woohoo..!!!
& i really hope & pray that no other series of unfortunate camera events will befall me....The first camera i had, an Olympus brand, only lasted for bout 3 years when something happened to it and it got spoiled on its own. The screen actually went static. Or whatever it's called. It had those black and white lines...as in how a TV would have if there's something wrong with the signal and stuff. Stupid camera. Boycotted Olympus since that incident.
Then the second camera............my A540 Canon PowerShot............sigh. Still so sad & guilty thinking about it. But at least I already told my parents, so burden off my shoulders. Of course, mom sorta 'shouted' and i don't blame her cos i was 'shouting' myself in my heart all this while. lol. It's just one year old. Argh.. yeah still very frustrated. ONE YEAR OLDDddddddd!!!!
okok.. Now, my new & third camera. I hope this camera will last me at least 10 years or around there. I hope I'll use it to the fullest before something happens to it and it gets spoiled by itself or it gets spoiled due to some human carelessness. AT least more than 5 years..if it doesnt last more than 5 years..........gahhh!! no-no. After all i've been thru with cameras, it better last me a great deal of time. Preferably until i get married and have at least one kid.
Canon Ixus 70, make sure you survive till I'm 30!
oooh..! look at how good i'm at at rhymes!
Monday, September 3, 2007
My whipped-up theory
This was written on thursday, 23rd august......except for some explanations included at current time.
This morning, after classes ended (well, not really since I have tute at 2pm later) I decided to go to Torrens, supposedly the main plan was to brisk walk since i havent really done much exercise these days, but the plan made a whole turn & i went home to get my rosary instead.
Headed over to torrens & tried to find a secluded & quiet spot where i could really pray & have no distractions but it seems as if the river bank is a rather popular spot. Couples under trees cuddling and doin their thing, friends sitting around chit-chatting, joggers jogging by (at 12 stg noon!)...it took me a while to choose a spot further away from the rest of the world.
As i settled down to pray tho, there weren't really ppl distractions but animal distractions instead (those quack-quack creatures). So instead of praying the whole rosary, i only ended up with one decade. So much for my intentions. Resolved to writing in the end.
It's a really good place to think and reflect.. & the weather is just so fantastic today. A light breeze & sunny..with nature all around you (minus the ppl distractions)..So perfect & peaceful.
Anyway, i've been trying to think about stg that would link my thoughts to the fruits (the previous blog titled 'random'). It's kind of true how some things happen in the weirdest & contrasting ways. Something supposedly big could end up small (like the apple) & stg which is supposed to be small, ends up big (the strawberry).
If life uses the theory of the apple & strawberry, everything would be right. We could make big problems small....& the little things which we overlook sometimes could be made more important & significant.
I guess human nature somehow makes us think problems as big things; even if they arent, we make it big by worrying about it, stressing about it, feeding so much attention to it that a small problem becomes big. But what if we decide to take the other course and not feed our problems with "nutrients"?? It might just shrink & be smaller than its supposed size, & yet it'll still be the same ol' problem (that apple tasted just like any other apple double its size neway). Conclusion is, a problem will still be a problem no matter what. The difference is that we can either choose to feed it with attention & use up our positive energy doing so, or we can choose to do stg more productive with our feelings & time.
That leads to the strawberry. Things which are small...things we hardly think about doing or simply things we forget about. If we 'enlarge' a small thing and make it big, it'd be more fruitful & it makes you feel fuller. For instance, sitting by the river like that & writing (this is the first time doin such actually) makes me feel heaps better than if i were to be spending this time in the library reading up on my law assignment instead. We should be doing the things we hardly do more often...like spending time with friends & having heart-to-heart talk or just merely anything more productive that would make the small bigger (little important things) & the big smaller (petty problems).
At the end of the day, when the supposed-big and the supposed-small are put together like this,
you get a balanced & fuller life!!!...where problems would be the same size as the other little important things. Or better, if the apple would be smaller still and the strawberries larger. Wouldn't everybody be happier then?? That way, we get to enjoy a larger portion of juicy, sweet strawberries & be satisfied with a smaller-sized apple - so eating an apple whole would be way easier when your mouth could just open wide the size of the apple itself rather than hurting yr jaw when trying to take a bite off from a big apple.
Yes, you're right. The last part had no relevance whatsoever =)
Have a great day & follow my apple-strawberry theory! hehehh...
............thennnnnnnnn......that's when my camera "breathed its last breath". The irony of it all...after i finished writing on such a positive topic, something totally negative had to happen to me. & i felt happy and accomplished after i finished writing...and had to feel majorly, totally sad and depressed in after 5 mins. A total plunge. Tried to apply my own (apple-strawberry) theory to the situation too..to try making the problem seem small...since a camera's just a material possesion...but didn't quite work..Cos the costs outweighed the benefits..as in with my camera..
*SIGH* ALL OVER AGAIN!
PS. Let me know if the apple-strawberry theory actually works in real life. lol! oooh...! & the strawberries i mentioned which look like an ass! There's actually one in the picture! The one on the far right. Looks like an ass huh??! (hahaha i know..im excited cos i thought there were no pics of it)
This morning, after classes ended (well, not really since I have tute at 2pm later) I decided to go to Torrens, supposedly the main plan was to brisk walk since i havent really done much exercise these days, but the plan made a whole turn & i went home to get my rosary instead.
Headed over to torrens & tried to find a secluded & quiet spot where i could really pray & have no distractions but it seems as if the river bank is a rather popular spot. Couples under trees cuddling and doin their thing, friends sitting around chit-chatting, joggers jogging by (at 12 stg noon!)...it took me a while to choose a spot further away from the rest of the world.
As i settled down to pray tho, there weren't really ppl distractions but animal distractions instead (those quack-quack creatures). So instead of praying the whole rosary, i only ended up with one decade. So much for my intentions. Resolved to writing in the end.
It's a really good place to think and reflect.. & the weather is just so fantastic today. A light breeze & sunny..with nature all around you (minus the ppl distractions)..So perfect & peaceful.
Anyway, i've been trying to think about stg that would link my thoughts to the fruits (the previous blog titled 'random'). It's kind of true how some things happen in the weirdest & contrasting ways. Something supposedly big could end up small (like the apple) & stg which is supposed to be small, ends up big (the strawberry).
If life uses the theory of the apple & strawberry, everything would be right. We could make big problems small....& the little things which we overlook sometimes could be made more important & significant.
I guess human nature somehow makes us think problems as big things; even if they arent, we make it big by worrying about it, stressing about it, feeding so much attention to it that a small problem becomes big. But what if we decide to take the other course and not feed our problems with "nutrients"?? It might just shrink & be smaller than its supposed size, & yet it'll still be the same ol' problem (that apple tasted just like any other apple double its size neway). Conclusion is, a problem will still be a problem no matter what. The difference is that we can either choose to feed it with attention & use up our positive energy doing so, or we can choose to do stg more productive with our feelings & time.
That leads to the strawberry. Things which are small...things we hardly think about doing or simply things we forget about. If we 'enlarge' a small thing and make it big, it'd be more fruitful & it makes you feel fuller. For instance, sitting by the river like that & writing (this is the first time doin such actually) makes me feel heaps better than if i were to be spending this time in the library reading up on my law assignment instead. We should be doing the things we hardly do more often...like spending time with friends & having heart-to-heart talk or just merely anything more productive that would make the small bigger (little important things) & the big smaller (petty problems).
At the end of the day, when the supposed-big and the supposed-small are put together like this,
you get a balanced & fuller life!!!...where problems would be the same size as the other little important things. Or better, if the apple would be smaller still and the strawberries larger. Wouldn't everybody be happier then?? That way, we get to enjoy a larger portion of juicy, sweet strawberries & be satisfied with a smaller-sized apple - so eating an apple whole would be way easier when your mouth could just open wide the size of the apple itself rather than hurting yr jaw when trying to take a bite off from a big apple.
Yes, you're right. The last part had no relevance whatsoever =)
Have a great day & follow my apple-strawberry theory! hehehh...
............thennnnnnnnn......that's when my camera "breathed its last breath". The irony of it all...after i finished writing on such a positive topic, something totally negative had to happen to me. & i felt happy and accomplished after i finished writing...and had to feel majorly, totally sad and depressed in after 5 mins. A total plunge. Tried to apply my own (apple-strawberry) theory to the situation too..to try making the problem seem small...since a camera's just a material possesion...but didn't quite work..Cos the costs outweighed the benefits..as in with my camera..
*SIGH* ALL OVER AGAIN!
PS. Let me know if the apple-strawberry theory actually works in real life. lol! oooh...! & the strawberries i mentioned which look like an ass! There's actually one in the picture! The one on the far right. Looks like an ass huh??! (hahaha i know..im excited cos i thought there were no pics of it)
Saturday, September 1, 2007
cryin my lil heart out..
It's been a week and one day. No more droplets on the screen, viewfinder or watever it's called was cleared of water. Everything looked as if it was dried on the inside already... Said a little prayer, inserted the SD card and batteries and decided to see if my camera still worked or not. Took a deep breath...pressed the on/off button............nothing happened. Pressed on it again - harder this time, thinking it might be because i didnt apply enough pressure on the button so it might not have worked (yea yea..hardcore, desperately-tryin-to-be-postive-but-also-silly thinking). Of course, the screen didnt light up even after i pressed on the button another time and another after that -_-
My camera is officially dead. It's just one year old... =( I'm too sad (and guilty for having to use up another lump sum of my parents' money so soon) that i dont know what to do with it. What do you do with a spoiled, dead camera?? Do you keep it or throw it away..??? *sob* No miracle happened.........
But on the bright side, I guess it just means i get to get another camera..a better one..and hopefully cheap as well. A cheap, good one.... Sigh. ARGH!!!! How could i have been so careless!!? Should have kept the camera in my bagggggg.... Or shouldnt have taken it to torrens at all.. ='(
*filled with so much regret*
well...........nothing i can do about it.......................except to get another new camera..which would be my THIRD camera.
sigh. Feel so bad and so sad. So bad and so sad...soo badd and sooo saddddddddd... =(((((
...havent even told my parents about it. When i do get a new camera, i'm not sure if i should tell them at all or pretend that i'm using the same camera..loll..i'll feel too guiltyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! (to tell them the truth).....
*ouch* My heart hurts!!! sakit hati mannnn..I wont really give a damn if the camera's like 3 -5 yrs old. I mean, i'll be sad but at least it's already been used up 3-5 yrs. It's already depreciated. Whatever. Accounts. But ONE year is just...tooo soon. ahhhhhhhh. Okok, shouldn't talk about it anymore. Going to sleep.
*sniffles*
...I had false hope. I thought the camera would work. Since 4 ppl already told me to let it dry off and then try it - it should work. But it didnt. And i actually expected the screen to light up when i pressed the on button but it didnt.....!!!!!!!!!! I expected too much. I can't live without a cameraaaa!!!! I need one! But how am i gonna wait till nov to go back and get it?! please god, let there be a $300-priced camera over here.....
*sob*
...I could go on and on. I. cannot. stand. this.
Sadness, frustration, anger, guilt, regret!!!!
argh~! Ok. Need sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day.
My camera is officially dead. It's just one year old... =( I'm too sad (and guilty for having to use up another lump sum of my parents' money so soon) that i dont know what to do with it. What do you do with a spoiled, dead camera?? Do you keep it or throw it away..??? *sob* No miracle happened.........
But on the bright side, I guess it just means i get to get another camera..a better one..and hopefully cheap as well. A cheap, good one.... Sigh. ARGH!!!! How could i have been so careless!!? Should have kept the camera in my bagggggg.... Or shouldnt have taken it to torrens at all.. ='(
*filled with so much regret*
well...........nothing i can do about it.......................except to get another new camera..which would be my THIRD camera.
sigh. Feel so bad and so sad. So bad and so sad...soo badd and sooo saddddddddd... =(((((
...havent even told my parents about it. When i do get a new camera, i'm not sure if i should tell them at all or pretend that i'm using the same camera..loll..i'll feel too guiltyyyyyyy!!!!!!!! (to tell them the truth).....
*ouch* My heart hurts!!! sakit hati mannnn..I wont really give a damn if the camera's like 3 -5 yrs old. I mean, i'll be sad but at least it's already been used up 3-5 yrs. It's already depreciated. Whatever. Accounts. But ONE year is just...tooo soon. ahhhhhhhh. Okok, shouldn't talk about it anymore. Going to sleep.
*sniffles*
...I had false hope. I thought the camera would work. Since 4 ppl already told me to let it dry off and then try it - it should work. But it didnt. And i actually expected the screen to light up when i pressed the on button but it didnt.....!!!!!!!!!! I expected too much. I can't live without a cameraaaa!!!! I need one! But how am i gonna wait till nov to go back and get it?! please god, let there be a $300-priced camera over here.....
*sob*
...I could go on and on. I. cannot. stand. this.
Sadness, frustration, anger, guilt, regret!!!!
argh~! Ok. Need sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Random
I was at Central Market last Friday for fruit-shopping. Yea, not grocery shopping but fruit shopping. Anyway, bought a couple apples, kiwis & strawberries. When I got home, I couldnt help it but to snap pics of the apples and strawberries. You'll see why.... (& i duno why i cant get the header 'a mini apple' to move down if there arent words written here..pressed enter to move, but after publishing it's as if i didnt press enter at all)
A mini apple
A giant strawberry
Notice how the strawberry is almost the same size as the apple. Since we don't get things like this back home, I just had to take a picture. It's too cool to forgo it.
The whole lot of strawberries after de-stemming them. Those strawberries were the oddest i've seen. And the hugest. And also the most out of shaped strawberries. I guess the latter falls under "the oddest". Usually strawberries have that..near-heart-shape look..as in wide on the top and pointy at the bottom....ah. There IS one normal looking strawberry in that whole bunch of weird ones. If you look carefully, it's the one on the far left of the bowl. I think that's the only normal strawberry. The rest were really in the weirdest shapes. Some come in square, some even look like an ass. lol. I'm serious!! It's rounded in shape, and there was a line splitting the strawberry in the middle. Totally reminded me of a butt. Should have taken a pic of it..but it was large and ugly so no point taking.
And for those who love strawberries and chocolate, try this: cut yr strawberries into halves and then use a spoon and scoop one spoonful of nutella (of course it depends how much strawberries you have, cos one spoonful of nutella is a lot..using table spoon) and spread it onto the strawberries. Since it's not melted chocolate, it wont really stick to the strawberries but better than nothing right? You get your own chocolate semi-coated strawberries! A healthy way to satisfy yr sweet tooth. Of course, limit the nutella cos you'd tend to scoop another spoonful and eat the hazelnut choc off the spoon after that. I dont know about you but that's what happens to me...! *uhoh*
Or another healthier option - apples this time: cut a whole apple into pieces, maybe into quarterly pieces or however small you want it to be, and then using a spoon, the same thing with the strawberries except this time, it's not nutella but peanut butter! It won't stick as well, cos fruits have got a smooth surface or its just the spread which is unspreadable. Anyway, use a knife to spread the peanut butter onto the apple pieces like how you'd spread peanut butter on bread. It's yummy and more healthy than the nutella & strawberry option. Provided you use good peanut butter that is. As in, get the less fat one..yada yada...otherwise some peanut butter spread may contain more of those unhealthy fats if you get those cheap ones. So yeh..a dessert/snack full of protein and fibre and a lil carbs. HEALTHY!
Lol. I wasn't meant to include these so-called dessert/snack ideas but at the last minute, decided to spice up this entry with something interesting that others might like to try out and enjoy as well..cos i do enjoy them! (otherwise i wouldnt have bothered sharing). Of course the strawberry and nutella one is way better...
stressed & feeling down-der than down.
I've been feeling so stressed out and down I just feel like burying myself. And this time, it isn't stressed because of studies. It's stressed because of health. I don't know why is it that one thing after another is 'attacking' me. As if 6 ailments ain't enough, now i have another one. Well not exactly 6 ailments altogether but more like ailments + health problems. Sigh. I'm not exaggerating at all. I have health problems starting from my head section down to my legs. Ok, ok. This is more like a self-pity post...but they really are starting to overwhelm me so much that I can't do things properly now. When things are supposed to be fun, i'm not having 100% of my share of fun cos of these disturbances... And the recent one with my ear is starting to get to me so bad I just feel like sleeping the whole day and not having to wake up. My whole head feels so imbalanced cos of this and even music, which is supposed to relieve someone of everything, isn't helping me at all. Everything sounds so distant and I feel like I'm living in a dream and everything around me is just surreal....I HATE feeling this way..!! I feel so sick...... =( Sigh. If only all these health problems would go away. That would totally help with my stress levels......I think I need to ask for lots and lots of prayers. That's the only thing left to help me..it's the only thing i'm depending on now since medication won't help..if there even is medication for some.....sigh. God help me........!! i need You.... ='(
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Bad bad day......
My damn camera rolled into the damn river today.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at torrens river today, being thoughtful and writing down my thoughts to be posted here. Everything was going fine till I got up to pack up and leave. I thought my camera was in the bag...but it was actually on my lap. And i got up too fast and watched in horror when I saw something rolling down the river bank fast and going into the water....realizing that 'something' was my camera!!!! When i got near the water to retrieve it, the whole thing had already submerged, cover and all.
Quickly tried to 'recover' it wiping watever water I could but i think a lot of water seeped inside the unreachable areas. The cover was soaking and dripping with water as well but i couldnt care less about the cover. I bought the camera just like... last year...!!!! Sigh. I could cry......... =(
I was so sad and panicky and...yeh. SO sad. Sigh. My ear was disturbing me today as well, having one side gone blocked and everything I hear is just...weird and when i talk, i hear my own voice like how you would if you were to talk when your hands are clamped over yr ears. SO uncomfortable. As if this was not enough, my day had to get worse with the camera incident.
I came back after class ended at 3pm to sleep everything off.. But now that i'm awake, i guess it's still back to reality - my ear is still making me feel 'sick' and my camera is still lying on my table with the screen all filled with droplets of water....
SIGH..... ='(
I was at torrens river today, being thoughtful and writing down my thoughts to be posted here. Everything was going fine till I got up to pack up and leave. I thought my camera was in the bag...but it was actually on my lap. And i got up too fast and watched in horror when I saw something rolling down the river bank fast and going into the water....realizing that 'something' was my camera!!!! When i got near the water to retrieve it, the whole thing had already submerged, cover and all.
Quickly tried to 'recover' it wiping watever water I could but i think a lot of water seeped inside the unreachable areas. The cover was soaking and dripping with water as well but i couldnt care less about the cover. I bought the camera just like... last year...!!!! Sigh. I could cry......... =(
I was so sad and panicky and...yeh. SO sad. Sigh. My ear was disturbing me today as well, having one side gone blocked and everything I hear is just...weird and when i talk, i hear my own voice like how you would if you were to talk when your hands are clamped over yr ears. SO uncomfortable. As if this was not enough, my day had to get worse with the camera incident.
I came back after class ended at 3pm to sleep everything off.. But now that i'm awake, i guess it's still back to reality - my ear is still making me feel 'sick' and my camera is still lying on my table with the screen all filled with droplets of water....
SIGH..... ='(
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Amadeus Pt.1
WOW. Tonight (& last night) was SO awesome..cos we got free tickets to this classical duo called Amadeus, a violinist and pianist performing together. Last night's concert was at some place in the suburbs, on Cremorne St. It was awesome in the sense that the night ended up with lotsa "activities" & good food...(our 'five-some' little secret..hehehe). Tonight's concert was held at Flinders St in the city. I can't begin to tell you how good it was. Ticket price was actually $45 bucks, but we got to watch the concert for free!!!!
How did we get free tickets, you may ask? Well, last sunday after mass, as we were walking out of church there were 2 guys at the entrance handing out flyers and this small piece of paper as the 'ticket', which doesnt exactly match up to the classy looking flyer. So happened joanne and chastine, who were walkin out together then, managed to get an extra 2 more tickets, whereas the other guy only gave me one. So that makes 5 free tickets to the show!
Gosh, the violinist and the pianist were just so good!! I was really awed by the way he played the violin; his hands moved so fast..! If i did that, I think my whole hand would dislocate and drop off my shoulder. No kidding! This is the first time actually, that i've seen a violin performance up close. I'm not really a violin person; I went for the piano part. But..gahhhh. Don't even know how to put my thoughts into words. It was indescribable! Totally value for money mann!! There was even a gourmet supper in between during a break. The food was goooood!! And everything was F-R-E-E. MAnnn..i still cant believe it! So pleased...!! Yeh, i'm smiling like an idiot now.
Anyway, the night ended really good. Only 4 of us went for the concert tonight cos Anthony didnt wanna go tonite after last night. Joanne and Chastine had to leave halfway during the break (after they had stolen some 'gourmet' food..lol) to go to their dance class. So all that was left was Sumi and me. Both of us stayed back when the performance resumed until it ended. The ending part was the best! Saved the best for last, really. It was just so so awesomeeee!!!! So glad for the free tickets and everything..! Cos if joanne and all weren't interested to go, knowing me, i wouldnt have bothered to go as well.
BLISS!!
And yeh, for those girls (like me sometimes, i admit =D ) who generalize when it comes to guys....Well, there really are a handful out there who are seriously sincere and nice and gentleman-like and....I think that's enough to boost their ego.
I didn't know Sumi actually asked one of the guys' to come over to walk me home although I already told her it wasn't necessary & it was actually really safe to walk home alone here. I mean, it's not Malaysia! I wouldnt even dare do that in malaysia. I might have been raped and murdered by then. Lol. Neway back to it. So yeh, we waited for sung to come over to walk me home, Sumi thinking of following him to my place and then walkin back to The Village with him. Instead, Sung came with Anthony and the whole situation was kinda sweet/cute, cos us girls were opposite the street, and the guys were at the other side. Sung came over to where we were, and Sumi walked across the street to where Anthony was.
Yeh, you guessed right! Each of us had an escort!!! Anthony walked Sumi back the other direction and (poor) sung had to walk me back the opposite direction and then head back again the direction he came frmo. I felt so bad..!! Especially when there were ppl around and still cars on the road - it was just bout 1030pm. Not that late, street lamps bright...oh well. lol. Really made my day though.
So yeh, certain guys are good - don't generalize just cos you've met so many of them who're actually the opposites of 'good'. hahahaaa.. Yeh, standing up for the opposite sex and 'promoting' them once in a while when good things happen to you are worth it. I should think. =P
& me being me again, I'm always soooo long winded. DIdn't intend this post to be so long since I was supposed to post pics...but looks like it's ended up long again. And gonna be made longer with the pics. *sigh* Can never change my writing habits huh?
Actually, on second thoughts, i'll just post the pics in another entry. =)
How did we get free tickets, you may ask? Well, last sunday after mass, as we were walking out of church there were 2 guys at the entrance handing out flyers and this small piece of paper as the 'ticket', which doesnt exactly match up to the classy looking flyer. So happened joanne and chastine, who were walkin out together then, managed to get an extra 2 more tickets, whereas the other guy only gave me one. So that makes 5 free tickets to the show!
Gosh, the violinist and the pianist were just so good!! I was really awed by the way he played the violin; his hands moved so fast..! If i did that, I think my whole hand would dislocate and drop off my shoulder. No kidding! This is the first time actually, that i've seen a violin performance up close. I'm not really a violin person; I went for the piano part. But..gahhhh. Don't even know how to put my thoughts into words. It was indescribable! Totally value for money mann!! There was even a gourmet supper in between during a break. The food was goooood!! And everything was F-R-E-E. MAnnn..i still cant believe it! So pleased...!! Yeh, i'm smiling like an idiot now.
Anyway, the night ended really good. Only 4 of us went for the concert tonight cos Anthony didnt wanna go tonite after last night. Joanne and Chastine had to leave halfway during the break (after they had stolen some 'gourmet' food..lol) to go to their dance class. So all that was left was Sumi and me. Both of us stayed back when the performance resumed until it ended. The ending part was the best! Saved the best for last, really. It was just so so awesomeeee!!!! So glad for the free tickets and everything..! Cos if joanne and all weren't interested to go, knowing me, i wouldnt have bothered to go as well.
BLISS!!
And yeh, for those girls (like me sometimes, i admit =D ) who generalize when it comes to guys....Well, there really are a handful out there who are seriously sincere and nice and gentleman-like and....I think that's enough to boost their ego.
I didn't know Sumi actually asked one of the guys' to come over to walk me home although I already told her it wasn't necessary & it was actually really safe to walk home alone here. I mean, it's not Malaysia! I wouldnt even dare do that in malaysia. I might have been raped and murdered by then. Lol. Neway back to it. So yeh, we waited for sung to come over to walk me home, Sumi thinking of following him to my place and then walkin back to The Village with him. Instead, Sung came with Anthony and the whole situation was kinda sweet/cute, cos us girls were opposite the street, and the guys were at the other side. Sung came over to where we were, and Sumi walked across the street to where Anthony was.
Yeh, you guessed right! Each of us had an escort!!! Anthony walked Sumi back the other direction and (poor) sung had to walk me back the opposite direction and then head back again the direction he came frmo. I felt so bad..!! Especially when there were ppl around and still cars on the road - it was just bout 1030pm. Not that late, street lamps bright...oh well. lol. Really made my day though.
So yeh, certain guys are good - don't generalize just cos you've met so many of them who're actually the opposites of 'good'. hahahaaa.. Yeh, standing up for the opposite sex and 'promoting' them once in a while when good things happen to you are worth it. I should think. =P
& me being me again, I'm always soooo long winded. DIdn't intend this post to be so long since I was supposed to post pics...but looks like it's ended up long again. And gonna be made longer with the pics. *sigh* Can never change my writing habits huh?
Actually, on second thoughts, i'll just post the pics in another entry. =)
Friday, August 17, 2007
"The Monday-Meal"
Plain and simple meal it was. Everyone got to the house after uni ended at 11am and I set off to cooking while the rest did last minute tute work before their respective tute classes. lol. I sure didn't know people did tute work on the day of the tute itself. Well, now i know. =D
Was it a success?? I really don't know. Why dont you tell me. =)
Luckily there was joanne and may to help grill..or was it fry?..the chicken. Didn't think bout how long it would take to actually cook 8 pieces of chicken.. But managed to get everything done in less than an hour. Or was it?
Whew. Was such an experience. If i had tried doing that all alone, it would have been hectic preparing for so many ppl. But guess it was a good experience. You learn as you grow. Lol.
Thanks to those who helped out here and there; especially the clean up! Damn. Totally forgot to take a picture of jason washing up all the plates. Such an angel. hahahaa..! Hardly ever see guys doing the dishes. heh. And shi wei cleaned the whole stove. wow. Everyone was so cooperative and helpful, it almost felt as if we were in the midst of a 'gotong-royong'. hahahaah!
guys foolin' around in my room...now i wonder if they opened my wardrobe in my absence..
the try-hard look alike chicken chop meal. hahahaa..wat a disaster. The best looking ones are the 2 plates from the left. They were all supposed to look like that but unfortunately, we ran out of ingredients
what gender is this...?
all that was left of us
oooh yeh. Totally forgot to mention how sweet the guys were (dont get big-headed after reading this okayyy....!!). lol. I had my personal msg on msn as a complaint and jason asked me about it so I told him all about the hours it took to clean the chicken up! At first he laughed and nearly made me 'angry'. I was almost gonna say "You dare laugh some more..?!!" but before I could, he offered to come over to help and thanked/apologized a couple times. LOL. Then there was sung. He happened to read my blog (my complaining in the previous post) and actually called me up to ask if i needed help! Awwww. I was so.. "moved". AHhahaa.. Soo sincere. Gosh. =)
So yeh, that's about it for the meal.
Whose turn to cook next?!!?
So yeh, some of them were doing work, while some were fooling around and some were helping me prepare. Chicken wasn't really enough, and since I already mentioned how it shrunk after cleaning them of fat, after cooking them, they shrunk even more. Broccoli wasn't really enough either as 2 extra peeps joined us that day. Plates weren't enough as well (don't blame me ya..! When I moved into this apmt, there were only 7 plates provided) so bowls had to be used. Lol.
Was it a success?? I really don't know. Why dont you tell me. =)
Luckily there was joanne and may to help grill..or was it fry?..the chicken. Didn't think bout how long it would take to actually cook 8 pieces of chicken.. But managed to get everything done in less than an hour. Or was it?
Whew. Was such an experience. If i had tried doing that all alone, it would have been hectic preparing for so many ppl. But guess it was a good experience. You learn as you grow. Lol.
Thanks to those who helped out here and there; especially the clean up! Damn. Totally forgot to take a picture of jason washing up all the plates. Such an angel. hahahaa..! Hardly ever see guys doing the dishes. heh. And shi wei cleaned the whole stove. wow. Everyone was so cooperative and helpful, it almost felt as if we were in the midst of a 'gotong-royong'. hahahaah!
guys foolin' around in my room...now i wonder if they opened my wardrobe in my absence..
the ''homeworkers''
the cooks and the intruder in white. lol
the try-hard look alike chicken chop meal. hahahaa..wat a disaster. The best looking ones are the 2 plates from the left. They were all supposed to look like that but unfortunately, we ran out of ingredients
us girls
what gender is this...?
all that was left of us
oooh yeh. Totally forgot to mention how sweet the guys were (dont get big-headed after reading this okayyy....!!). lol. I had my personal msg on msn as a complaint and jason asked me about it so I told him all about the hours it took to clean the chicken up! At first he laughed and nearly made me 'angry'. I was almost gonna say "You dare laugh some more..?!!" but before I could, he offered to come over to help and thanked/apologized a couple times. LOL. Then there was sung. He happened to read my blog (my complaining in the previous post) and actually called me up to ask if i needed help! Awwww. I was so.. "moved". AHhahaa.. Soo sincere. Gosh. =)
So yeh, that's about it for the meal.
Whose turn to cook next?!!?
Friday, August 10, 2007
NEVER EVER..
EVER EVER will i agree to cook againnnnnn...!!!!! Last week, my friend(s) was(were) asking where we were goin for lunch right after we were done with our lectures. And so, I told them I had to go home cos I already took my frozen fish out of the freezer to defrost it, thus, i couldnt join them for lunch that day. That simple question-answer lead to a topic about cooking and what is or has been cooking..and then..
Sung: hey, why don't you cook for us one day.. we'll go over to yr house for lunch.. make it monday!
Shi Wei: yeh.. Cook for us..!
Jason: yaaa..we'll go over to eat...!
Me: errrr......okkkk.... (thinking it'd be a chance to at least be able to cook for others - others as in more than one person!! Cos i used to cook for my housemate before we decided to cook individually)
The above conversation has been altered of course; don't expect me to remember the convo word for word rightt..
Anyway, I was supposed to cook last monday. But since i didnt go grocery shopping I decided to postpone it to this monday. Went grocery shopping earlier and bought all the things needed for my monday-meal. Am planning to cook a chicken-chop-like meal for them. For those of you who dunno what chicken chop is, it's actually a western meal - chicken with gravy over it and the usual side dishes like mixed vege & chips. But of course, I wouldnt be doing chips, hell no. I don't even have a wok at home and frying chips is just too messy. Neway, yes, i'll be cooking an improvisation of a chicken chop meal.
Got back, kept my things, dumped the big bag of chicken into the freezer (noticing that the plastic bag which contained the chicken was thinning dangerously..meaning it was QUITE heavy...meaning there were MANY pieces of chicken in it...meaning i had to cook for MANY people). So yeh. Dumped the chicken into the freezer for like 5 secs. And then realized I havent cleaned the chicken. Took it back out, took out the first piece....and............O.O (i dunno wat/how some ppl make that emoticon-lookin thing, im not sure if i've done it correctly but it's supposed to be a picture of a big, rounded-eyed person).
I was shocked. Ok. Not like i havent cleaned a chic before but everytime i buy chic, i dont recall seeing that much fat hanging all over it before!!! Shit. Looked into the bag. Realized that all the chicken fillets I've bought were identical to the first one i was holding onto. Felt like crying - literally. So then, I had no choice did I? Settled down to cleaning all 8 pieces of chicken. yes. EIGHT. It took me more than an hour to clean them all of fat and oil. STUPID DAMNED pieces of chicken. WHy did they have to have so much fat around them!? Not only around them but in the middle, and elsewhere!!! All bits and pieces of fat here and there. goshhh. I'll not be touching chicken for a few weeks again...
After cleaning them off, i swear the chicken shrunk in size and the fat which was holding the meat together ended up with holes and gaps in btw the meat. I hope those people would be full cos suddenly a piece of chic looks small. But i really dont give a damn now. After the whole process of cleaning and when i was FINALLY done with those, I decided to just finish with the rest. Might as well, since i was already on with it. So I washed carrots and broccoli and cut them all and stored them into containers for monday. So all i have left to do is just to cook. All preparations done! I ended at 10pm. And here I am typing this away after a shower.
My hands and fingers are all sore and rough and wrinkled and peeling now. Not exaggerating. Cos of the hours preparing and it was wet all the time, not to mention how hard it was cleaning eight pieces of chicken. My nails are all jagged and uneven now due to chicken-cleaning and hours of dampness causing them to be too soft, some just peeled.
GAaaahhhh!!!!! Not gonna agree to cook anymore!! Or maybe it's just the wrong meal to make. Or I just should have bought chic breast instead of chic fillet which doesnt have much fat. Or some guy shouldn't have brought this idea up then I wouldnt have had to cook in the first place. lol. This Monday-Meal better be a success or the people involved would have to pay for the time wasted just to clean chicken!!
PS. Pretty motivating though, as i can show off pictures later of what i've done..seemingly as I havent cooked meals at all back home, and here i am, gonna cook something for a bunch of people. Lol. How funny; my parents would laugh if they heard this.
Sung: hey, why don't you cook for us one day.. we'll go over to yr house for lunch.. make it monday!
Shi Wei: yeh.. Cook for us..!
Jason: yaaa..we'll go over to eat...!
Me: errrr......okkkk.... (thinking it'd be a chance to at least be able to cook for others - others as in more than one person!! Cos i used to cook for my housemate before we decided to cook individually)
The above conversation has been altered of course; don't expect me to remember the convo word for word rightt..
Anyway, I was supposed to cook last monday. But since i didnt go grocery shopping I decided to postpone it to this monday. Went grocery shopping earlier and bought all the things needed for my monday-meal. Am planning to cook a chicken-chop-like meal for them. For those of you who dunno what chicken chop is, it's actually a western meal - chicken with gravy over it and the usual side dishes like mixed vege & chips. But of course, I wouldnt be doing chips, hell no. I don't even have a wok at home and frying chips is just too messy. Neway, yes, i'll be cooking an improvisation of a chicken chop meal.
Got back, kept my things, dumped the big bag of chicken into the freezer (noticing that the plastic bag which contained the chicken was thinning dangerously..meaning it was QUITE heavy...meaning there were MANY pieces of chicken in it...meaning i had to cook for MANY people). So yeh. Dumped the chicken into the freezer for like 5 secs. And then realized I havent cleaned the chicken. Took it back out, took out the first piece....and............O.O (i dunno wat/how some ppl make that emoticon-lookin thing, im not sure if i've done it correctly but it's supposed to be a picture of a big, rounded-eyed person).
I was shocked. Ok. Not like i havent cleaned a chic before but everytime i buy chic, i dont recall seeing that much fat hanging all over it before!!! Shit. Looked into the bag. Realized that all the chicken fillets I've bought were identical to the first one i was holding onto. Felt like crying - literally. So then, I had no choice did I? Settled down to cleaning all 8 pieces of chicken. yes. EIGHT. It took me more than an hour to clean them all of fat and oil. STUPID DAMNED pieces of chicken. WHy did they have to have so much fat around them!? Not only around them but in the middle, and elsewhere!!! All bits and pieces of fat here and there. goshhh. I'll not be touching chicken for a few weeks again...
After cleaning them off, i swear the chicken shrunk in size and the fat which was holding the meat together ended up with holes and gaps in btw the meat. I hope those people would be full cos suddenly a piece of chic looks small. But i really dont give a damn now. After the whole process of cleaning and when i was FINALLY done with those, I decided to just finish with the rest. Might as well, since i was already on with it. So I washed carrots and broccoli and cut them all and stored them into containers for monday. So all i have left to do is just to cook. All preparations done! I ended at 10pm. And here I am typing this away after a shower.
My hands and fingers are all sore and rough and wrinkled and peeling now. Not exaggerating. Cos of the hours preparing and it was wet all the time, not to mention how hard it was cleaning eight pieces of chicken. My nails are all jagged and uneven now due to chicken-cleaning and hours of dampness causing them to be too soft, some just peeled.
GAaaahhhh!!!!! Not gonna agree to cook anymore!! Or maybe it's just the wrong meal to make. Or I just should have bought chic breast instead of chic fillet which doesnt have much fat. Or some guy shouldn't have brought this idea up then I wouldnt have had to cook in the first place. lol. This Monday-Meal better be a success or the people involved would have to pay for the time wasted just to clean chicken!!
PS. Pretty motivating though, as i can show off pictures later of what i've done..seemingly as I havent cooked meals at all back home, and here i am, gonna cook something for a bunch of people. Lol. How funny; my parents would laugh if they heard this.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Some guyyss...*sigh*
Last night, my friends and I hung out at a pub after soooo long not hanging out in a group, much less after not meeting some of them for quite some time. We had good fun then headed to O' Connell to have supper. AB it was..yummm. Still don't get why it's called abortion though. Makes such a nice, yummy meal seem so....i-dont-know. Just wonder who came up with that name for a dish, of all names.....
Anyway! That's beside the point. The point is, before the food came up, I walked across the road to the O'Connell bakery shop to see if i could get a warm drink there (and also cos my friend was lookin for a toilet). After getting my drink and on the way back about to cross the street, there was this group of guys sitting down outside and one of them started talkin to me. At first I thought he was asking for directions and I obviously didnt really know the area around so i just shook my head and continued walking on, having to hurry after my friend who was walkin in front. Then I heard him call after saying "....bla bla..he's drunk..." (indicating to one of his friends..altho when i looked, the guy didnt seem drunk at all) Didn't really catch watever he was saying, cos all the time since the time he started talking, I was walking past (so imagine the whole conversation taking place in less than a few secs).
So yeh, I slowed down and paused a few steps away from them, wondering what he meant, whether it was help they needed or something.. *stupidly* I then went "huh? Sorry??" & he said "you're lookin good". BAH. At this point, i just turned on my heel and started walking away, not caring whatever they were on about. Those guys started calling out things at once as I walked quickly away to join my friend who was about to cross the street. Of all the things they were saying, I only caught one sentence and that was "what's your number?!".
I almost wanted to turn around and tell them, "You guys should get a life" before I crossed the street. But on second thoughts, they'd prolly walk over opposite and beat me up.
Australia isn't as different as it is in Malaysia. Although in Malaysia, it would be more disgusting cos there'd be malay guys involved and you don't feel safe at all considering all the rape/molest cases there are in Malaysia, so it's much much worse than it is over here. At least the guys who "disturb" you over here are way cuter too. LOL.
But then, in Malaysia, when any guy says a 'hello' to you as you walk by, you'll know what they're up to. Whereas in Australia, there are certain guys/men who just greet you out of the blue, and you wouldn't know what their intentions are cos some greetings are out of friendliness. That's just the difference.
Other than that....hell. Not much of a difference. A few months ago when i was into "intense" exercising (till i hurt my knee) and would go walking/jogging around torrens river at least 3 times a week, I came across this group of young boys on bicycles. I was brisk walkin, listening to music and enjoying nature around me, not paying much attention to the empty path ahead of me when these boys cycled past. I repeat, they were BOYS. Naturally, i glanced at them - i glance at everyone who comes in the opposite direction on my path cos usually the path would be empty...and that's what everyone would do right?! So yea, i just glanced at them to see if they were hot or anything (hahha..thats when i found out they were boys and lost interest immediately) not expecting anything to happen at all, when the one in front called out "heyy sexyyy..." as he cycled past.
Whooooaa...I almost stopped in my tracks for a minute there (but of course i didnt). THey were boys for goodness sake!!! 13-14 yrs of age maybe? Hell. That was just out of place man..! Lol. I was so surprised and instantly muttered to myself "Guys..." on a note of sarcasm. After that, I continued my walk with all thoughts about guys in Penang and guys in australia, like how im comparing them in this post now. Lol. That shout out totally reminded me and made me picture those really disgustingly horny malay guys back home....BRrrr..
SOme guys really just have nothing else better to do than to sit around and call out something to a girl who passes by. Esp those guys who would sit by gurney drive...penang ppl would know. SO saddening. They should get a life.
ANd I end here with another sarcastic note.
GUYS....!
*roll eyes*
Anyway! That's beside the point. The point is, before the food came up, I walked across the road to the O'Connell bakery shop to see if i could get a warm drink there (and also cos my friend was lookin for a toilet). After getting my drink and on the way back about to cross the street, there was this group of guys sitting down outside and one of them started talkin to me. At first I thought he was asking for directions and I obviously didnt really know the area around so i just shook my head and continued walking on, having to hurry after my friend who was walkin in front. Then I heard him call after saying "....bla bla..he's drunk..." (indicating to one of his friends..altho when i looked, the guy didnt seem drunk at all) Didn't really catch watever he was saying, cos all the time since the time he started talking, I was walking past (so imagine the whole conversation taking place in less than a few secs).
So yeh, I slowed down and paused a few steps away from them, wondering what he meant, whether it was help they needed or something.. *stupidly* I then went "huh? Sorry??" & he said "you're lookin good". BAH. At this point, i just turned on my heel and started walking away, not caring whatever they were on about. Those guys started calling out things at once as I walked quickly away to join my friend who was about to cross the street. Of all the things they were saying, I only caught one sentence and that was "what's your number?!".
I almost wanted to turn around and tell them, "You guys should get a life" before I crossed the street. But on second thoughts, they'd prolly walk over opposite and beat me up.
Australia isn't as different as it is in Malaysia. Although in Malaysia, it would be more disgusting cos there'd be malay guys involved and you don't feel safe at all considering all the rape/molest cases there are in Malaysia, so it's much much worse than it is over here. At least the guys who "disturb" you over here are way cuter too. LOL.
But then, in Malaysia, when any guy says a 'hello' to you as you walk by, you'll know what they're up to. Whereas in Australia, there are certain guys/men who just greet you out of the blue, and you wouldn't know what their intentions are cos some greetings are out of friendliness. That's just the difference.
Other than that....hell. Not much of a difference. A few months ago when i was into "intense" exercising (till i hurt my knee) and would go walking/jogging around torrens river at least 3 times a week, I came across this group of young boys on bicycles. I was brisk walkin, listening to music and enjoying nature around me, not paying much attention to the empty path ahead of me when these boys cycled past. I repeat, they were BOYS. Naturally, i glanced at them - i glance at everyone who comes in the opposite direction on my path cos usually the path would be empty...and that's what everyone would do right?! So yea, i just glanced at them to see if they were hot or anything (hahha..thats when i found out they were boys and lost interest immediately) not expecting anything to happen at all, when the one in front called out "heyy sexyyy..." as he cycled past.
Whooooaa...I almost stopped in my tracks for a minute there (but of course i didnt). THey were boys for goodness sake!!! 13-14 yrs of age maybe? Hell. That was just out of place man..! Lol. I was so surprised and instantly muttered to myself "Guys..." on a note of sarcasm. After that, I continued my walk with all thoughts about guys in Penang and guys in australia, like how im comparing them in this post now. Lol. That shout out totally reminded me and made me picture those really disgustingly horny malay guys back home....BRrrr..
SOme guys really just have nothing else better to do than to sit around and call out something to a girl who passes by. Esp those guys who would sit by gurney drive...penang ppl would know. SO saddening. They should get a life.
ANd I end here with another sarcastic note.
GUYS....!
*roll eyes*
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