'Everybody sees how you seem; however, only some know who you are'

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Amazed...

Yep, I still can't seem to stop being amazed............at the many varieties of confectionary and biscuits available over here. The biscuit and confectionary section of the supermarket always attracts me. It's the most interesting aisle to walk down on, checking out the different, different kinds of biscuits..esp those which are choc-coated.....gosh..YUMmmYy...

As for the confectionary section, there are just so many different kinds of choc bars (the single bars) and the best thing is that the supermarkets have got specials on different choc bars at different weeks. *sigh*

Anyway, the thing which amazes me more is how ONE brand has SO many products. I mean c'mon man...Arnotts has like SOOOOO many types of biscuits from timtams to other choc-coated biscuits to those normal, plain milk biscuits to those cream-filled ones to healthy fruity ones to.......Yea, I know I spend a lot of time looking at biscuits when I'm at the supermarket. Sometimes just lookin at them for fun just cos it's nice to look at them. Lol.

Well, maybe there are also a variety (altho I'm sure it can't be as many as it is here) of biscuits and chocs back home but the difference is that I hardly ever bother to walk down the confectionary aisle when i'm at supermarkets back home. So prolly that might explain why I'm so "awed" with all the biscuits and chocs over here...cos it's here when i picked up the bad, unhealthy eating habit of biscuits & chocs. So.....seems like i just realized how there are so many yummy-looking-and-tasting biscuits around. When i get back, I'm gonna make a trip to the supermarket just to compare the varieties of biscuits from back home with them here. Hahaha..i know im crazy. But it just striked me how come i havent seen this much stuff back home before.

And it scares me how much i've been eating chocs lately. Previously, i got addicted to timtams and other biscuits dipped with milk. Then I managed to cut down on it till i totally stopped eating biscuits. Thought my misery was over...........when suddenly I became addicted to chocs. Kept buying $1 choc bars whenever there was a discount on them. Kept eating. Like one every 2 days?? Or maybe one bar per day?! AHhh!! I NEVER ate chocs or biscuits when i was in penang!!!! Ok, maybe not "never" but i'd eat a choc like once in....a month??? Or more than that. & I hardly felt like eating biscuits at all. If i ever ate some, it was a big deal. And my dad had to ASK me to eat them/OFFER me them chocs and biscuits, otherwise i just wouldnt bother. Compare that with NOW! One choc bar per day!! *faint*

I'm trying to cut down on them now. So far i've managed to stay off it for 2 days. I even made my own sign/post/shoutout to myself and printed it out to be pasted on the wall in front of me. Hope it'd work. Whenever i feel like snacking i'd read it and stop myself from eating. Cos i have, & am becoming, really fat...... =( If the "warning" doesn't work, i dont know what else can help me to stop snacking. I just pasted the sign a few hours ago..lol.. so we'll see if it works. *fingers crossed* (cancel that) *fingers crossed tightly with eyes clenched shut in hope*

Sunday, July 29, 2007

JOY!

What a blast! It's been a loooong time not hanging out with friends this way but tonight really reminded me of old times when everyone back home would be hanging out in a big group, eating, chatting, laughing.....camwhoring. LOL. Or more like having photography sessions. I miss those times with friends back home SO much. Especially the photo-taking sessions with the girls and all, laughing and trying out different poses & simply taking lotsa pics!! I'm glad I got to do that tonight! Altho not hardcore posing as how it'd be. Hahahaaa...It's not weird but we, as girls, simply have fun when it comes to "photography". =D

*sigh* SO MUCH FUNNnn....!! The company was great. It's nice to be able to be yourself when you're around others..that's the most important thing ever. It just proves you're with the right group of people who can really make you feel at ease and not all uneasy or having to gather some enthusiasm forcefully. All in all, you just feel gooood. Okok..enough crap.

Neway, activity for the night was dinner at the casino after doin much reasonably-priced-restaurant hunting, chatting, doing stupid things (only Sung), picture-taking, laughing, more picture-taking. And then the guys gambled a bit while the girls watched. When they were satisfied, we went and had dessert at one of the restaurants where there was a promotion: coffee+cake. Made the poor waitress repeat herself so many times (haha!). More picture-taking. Then all headed home.


Lol. The most brief narration ever from me. As you can see by now, I suck at making things brief. They're always long and in-detail. Lucky for you, it's late now which explains the very short summary for the night...so you dont have to read long long posts like the previous stuff I've posted..i know, i know..I've got comments saying my entries are like essays. Well, maybe they are =P Which explains why i considered journalism. I would've loved submitting such stuff like the entry below for publishing in magazines....meh.

Neway, some pics below...where all the fun is captured. Good stuff.

















From left: see kit, me, joanne, shi wei

















The two cheeky guys: sung & jason


















All of us!...with the colourful machine lights in the background.

















empty dessert plates, satisfied smiles....a nice way to end the day.


WhEee.....!! What a GrEeeaTt night!


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Types of GIrLs

Oh ho-ho. Interesting topic I'm very delighted to write about. I give myself a pat on the back for having this sudden creative topic come into my mind. Heheh. And I won't be just crapping. I actually DO know these types of girls and am writing thru what I've come across. Yes, all these categories really do exist, I'm not making it up. & that's what makes this entry the more interesting when people I do know (who reads this) would be wondering who I'm actually talking about =P

Surprising how after putting them down into categories, there are actually so many different types of girls who have got different attitudes when it comes to the dating scene. Or rather, when it comes to guys alone.

Guys who're reading this - who knows, you might be able to put this entry into use and know the type of girl you're actually dating =D

I shall be random and write whatever that comes to mind first...and also will include a quote which fits the appropriate category mentioned, if there is one.

And here, I present to you the types of girls that exist in my world alone. More than one category might belong to the same person or one category might be a combination of a few ppl I do know.

The Shy
This girl might be a naturally shy girl who is not really exposed to the relationship area and does not know how to handle a situation when it comes to a guy. Or she could be the 'other' shy girl who is usually quiet, does not have many friends and is most of the time by herself. Oh, on second thoughts, that's more like a loner so forget about the second point. Anyway, this type of girl would usually be a quiet, sweet girl who just blushes most of the time when around the guy she likes. She has no experience whatsoever and is naive. She only opens up to ppl she trusts and can be quite bubbly once you get to know her well.

The Low Self-esteem
This girl somehow has the concept that she is not good enough for the guy she likes. She has an insecure edge and sometimes might think that she does not deserve the guy because she doesn't match up to him..or prolly cos she thinks the guy deserves someone better than she is. But then, who gets what they want if they think they're not good enough? A low self-esteem will only allow your target to be whisked away into someone else's grasp before you even know it. Be confident, stand tall. You dont have to be perfect in order to think you're good enough for him. The challenge and the fight alone is enough. Instead of having the thought like 'I don't have a chance', have some other thought like 'Everybody's got a chance'. It just depends whether you get it but at least there's still hope. The movie 'Maid in Manhattan' by Jennifer Lopez is a great example. A senator dating a hotel roomkeeper. Worlds apart, but still possible. Altho I havent come across this in real life before but..lol. Everything's possible. After all, the most imporatant part of you will always be what's on the inside.

The Obsessive/Insecure
She can't lose sight of him for more than ten minutes. His phone rings often when she isn't with him and his inbox is filled with her msges. She gets jealous easily when he is around other girls and wants him all to herself. Sometimes she can be like a mother, setting rules for him in the relationship and expecting him to follow them. When he does not, she gets all upset and thinks he doesn't care about her. Which guy would want to be tied down in a relationship filled with "rules" though? If he calls at 8.30 instead of 8.00 like he said he would, she would be distraught until he calls. She knows his daily schedule at the tips of her fingers and always wishes to know his whereabouts every minute of the day. She watches him like a hawk and obliges in everything the guy wants even if it is inconvenient to her. This kind of girl would normally end up alone at the end, as the guy would dump her (unless he loves her too much) cos no guy would want a doormat girlfriend who is obsessed to the max over him.

The Flirt
Every good looking or not too bad looking guy she comes into contact with would be chatted up. This girl is the flirt queen, the one who is good at tossing her hair over her shoulders, batting her eyelashes and flashing a hundred megawatt smile. Oh, and probably touching the person she's talking to once in a while. The works. Tell me if she's got a boyfriend. When Guy isnt around, she turns on full flirt-mode. But when Guy is around, she's an angel and a goody-goody. When out with friends, she's usually the type to gossip about others and who knows the latest gossip. She'd be a fashion freak and is up-to-date with the latest fashion..well, most of the time. Her voice might be honey-coated (for the sweet-flirt) or husky (for the hot-flirt). What's the difference you may ask? The sweet-flirt looks sweet, the hot-flirt looks hot. Easy as A, B, C. The Flirt would always have a bit of an attractiveness in her (whether sweet, hot or in the middle) cos who would flirt when they're not looking good? Common sense.

The Confused
She doesnt know what she wants. Uh-huh. She might want 5 guys at the same time. But too bad she can only make one choice and have one guy. And that's why she's single most of the time. She can't make decisions when it comes to love prolly cos she can be too cautious...or perhaps she's just afraid to fall in love cos of its responsibilities and being in a commitment. Altho she's sure she likes a guy, she doesn't have courage or confidence in starting a relationship because she wonders what may happen with the relationship. Most of the time, she shrinks away - that explains how she's always single. What The Confused doesnt know is that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

The Loyal
This girl has a big BIG heart. She's nice, she's sweet, and she gives the best she can in a relationship. Once she's taken, she hides nothing when a guy chats her up. While some girls may go along with flirting when Guy isnt around, The Loyal may flirt back, but doesn't show as much interest as she could have. She knows she isn't available and does not cause the other party to think she is still available. To put it in simpler words, she does not lead other guys who are interested in her on. She is faithful to the one who loves her and makes it clear to others who keep pursuing her that she is not interested. She doesnt think about going out on dates with someone else interested in her (what's the point when you're just giving them hope and allowing them to continue hunting you down) and two-timing is not in her vocabulary. Her concept? Treasure the one who loves you for it isn't easy to find a person who loves you.

The Independent
The independent one is often categorized as a "Good bitch". The BITCH which means 'Babe In Total Control of Herself'. A strong-minded girl who doesn't give a damn about anything going on around her, be it good or bad. She's usually in her own world and hardly cares about what others may think of her. She is strong-willed and is able to go on in life without having to depend on a guy. She places her boyfriend after her friends and does not get terribly crushed when a break up occurs. She picks herself up fast with the thought that everything happens for a reason and moves on quickly, knowing that something else better is waiting for her. She is a girl full of pride and who loves a fight. If a guy breaks up with her, she's not the type to go running back to him. Her motto: "Love is yours when it's meant for you. So give it wings to fly - if it's really for you to keep, it'll fly back to you"...the exact words from the 'Bitch' herself. ;)

The Needy
'Never make somebody your everything cos when they're gone you've got NOTHING'. This girl TOTALLY needs to have this quote glued to her brain since she always lets herself get hurt over and over again. The total opposite of The Independent, The Needy is one who totally depends on a guy. Worse, she gives a 100% of her heart to a particular guy. She's willing to do anything for her boyfriend, calls and msges him often, has to see him often and puts him as a priority. That's why she gets insanely heartbroken when the relationship ends. She is dependent on love; once a relationship ends and she comes across another guy interested in her, she jumps into it and devotes herself fully to the guy. Relationship ends, totally heartbroken, finds another guy, gets on with it and whole process begins from starting point again. The Needy has part of The Obsessive/Insecure traits in her. She also has a number of boyfriends depending on how long a relationship lasts and how soon she meets another.

The Dependent
This girl is something like The Needy but in a different kinda sense. The Needy is loyal but The Dependent might not be loyal. She is just dependent on love when she has no one else to love. She depends on physical contact in the lovey-dovey sense. Long-distance relationships are not for her, whereas The Needy is able to handle them. The Dependent might be in a relationship even when her heart belongs to someone else, someone she cannot get ahold of. She, just like The Needy, has many boyfriends. When one relationship ends, she jumps into another all for the sake of love and affection. The difference between The Needy and The Dependent is that The Needy devotes herself entirely while The Dependent does/might not. The Dependent gets into relationships as a 'pit stop' before finding 'The One'. A quote The Dependent would need to seriously consider is this: 'Don't hold something in your arms that you could never hold in your heart'.

The Playgirl
This version is the "Bad bitch". Unlike The Independent who happens to be the "Good bitch", The Playgirl is a full-on bitch-bitch. She has flings, lots of relationships, two-(three-four-)times for all you know and doesnt give a damn as to whose heart she breaks. She likes to have fun with guys and is a major flirt. Nothing much to say about her and since we all know how they are.... so let's move on.

The Choosy/Future-Seeker
She has her own expectations when it comes to guys and only looks for a guy who fulfills her list of traits. Looking for a guy is rather time consuming as it is hard to find him. She only allows herself to start a relationship with a guy who has most of what she is looking for. She doesnt fall in love easily but when she does, she cherishes him. She does not simply get on with a guy "for the fun of it" even if it means to try out the relationship with someone she might like. She totally makes sure she really likes a guy before getting on with him. She seeks long-term relationships whereby her boyfriend could possibly end up her husband. That makes her single most of the time until she comes across someone worth considering.

The Attention-Seeker
The title says it all. She enjoys attention. In fact, she may enjoy receiving attention from someone else other than her boyfriend that she hides the truth in order to get the most out of both worlds. She loves being showered with gifts and warms up to guys who make her feel special. But what The Attention-Seeker needs to know is that 'If you find somone else in love with you and you dont love him, feel honoured that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return, do not take advantage, do not cause pain'.

The Manipulator/Dominator
This girl has her way. She dominates the relationship, her boyfriend adores(/worships?) her to the max and gives her anything and everything she might wish for. She is spoiled rotten and sometimes takes it for granted. She has an aura of power(?) and charm and is intelligent in certain ways...the manipulative ways of course. Usually her boyfriend respects her and showers her with lots and lots of gifts. Most of the time, her boyfriend doesn't have a say; she does.

That sums up the types of girls who exist.........This is crappy. I feel like i've just written an entire book instead of a blog entry. Hell, it IS long..!! Anyway, to those of you girls who're reading, no offense if you may think any of those categories happen to suit you and that I'm writing about you (but then I actually am that's why it's said to be types of girls i know)...But even if they do get to you, it's a fact so don't get mad..Be a sport...? It's just a blog after all..You can kill me later if you think it's you I'm actually talking about. =D

ANd if you're wondering which am I, I'll just be honest and let you know, my categories arranged according to 'strengths'. Lol. Here goes..The Loyal, The Choosy/Future-Seeker, The Confused, The Needy. But these, I'm not totally sure. The ppl who know me well would be able to tell. Ask them instead. & that's enough for today. More than enough.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Dream BIG!

How often do we hear of people who actually opt for their interests rather than for "fortune"'s sake these days...I find that people nowadays are engaged in courses they only have a slight interest in - or totally do not have any interest in it at all. Why? What happened to those days when people took up jobs they actually love doing??

Blame the world! Things are becoming more and more complex that even a single degree after graduating from uni is not enough to get a good job. People only feel consoled if they earn a higher and better ranking than the rest. But when is this ever going to end? The challenge to outdo each other is neverending. A double degree used to be a "wow" thing back in the early days. Today, gaining a Masters or Honours is nothing really special though you get a plus from it.

Anyway, that's besides the point. Hearing someone doing something they actually love is becoming rare.

Reasons why fewer people are doing things they love:

1. Pressure from parents wanting them to do some other thing - parents' choice. Never happened in the old days did it?
2. To earn more money to get a better future...since doing something you love would get you 'nowhere'
3. Taking up something (according to recent demand of a particular job) in order to find a job easily after you graduate
4. Have to match up to levels of society and others' expectations - if doing the thing you love is considered low-class
5. Too many people are doing the thing you love that if you happen to take it up, you'll just get nowhere (unless you're extraordinary & someone spots you or you're able to beat the rest)
6. You don't see yrself doing the thing you love in the future cos it all seems too "impossible"

And one of those people is me. 2, 3, 5 & 6. Those are my reasons.

From the very beginning, the period where every kid actually has their dreams of what they want to become when you ask them the innocent question..some would say they want to be a pilot, doctor, actor, magician..& the list goes on. When a kid tells you what he/she wants to become in the future, there is true passion in whatever they want. Although their innocent minds are not really prepared for what is expected to be what they want to be, they do know what they love. And that is the ultimate thing.

What is the thing I love doing???

If you had asked me what I had wanted to be in those early days, I would have answered " A musician/singer". I'd always dream about having my own band and rocking the stage just like those singers-cum-musicians you watch in movies like 'Freaky Friday' where they sing their songs and do their thing on electric guitars...

Later, during the early stages in high school, I discovered the art of composing songs. Suddenly, I had myself wondering if it was actually possible to end up a composer.

Then, at the later days of high school when blogging came into the picture, I had an interest in writing and considered taking up mass communication and doing something like journalism.

At the end of high school days and going into college, cameras suddenly seemed like a must to have - we needed to capture lots of memories. That's when the skill of camwhoring came into place. That's also when I wished I could become a model and just pose for pictures all day long.

Guess what? Up till today, I still have those interests. They never changed. I still wish i could end up a musician-singer-composer and prolly be a part time journalist and a part time model. But that just sounds too hectic, so maybe either one of those 3 things would do.

But ha-ha. What am I doing now? I'm studying Bachelor of Commerce, major in Accounting. An accountant??? hell, I never thought about that before!

I guess that's just life. And it is somehow consoling to know that I'm not the only one trapped in this....'thing'. Some others I know either do not know what they want, or they tell me they just HAVE to do it. Like there isnt a choice. But in today's world, I guess there really isnt a choice but to do something that you'd be able to reap benefits from in the future rather than to be doomed doing something you love.

Sooo...the people who actually get to do something they love without having any difficulties..those who're into dentistry, pharmacy, medicine, psychology and all the not-so-impossible, be thankful you're interested in such areas where making it happen would not seem too impossible.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Last One!

Monday, September 05, 2005
A lil bit about love

"Love is like the wind. You can't see it but you feel it"

Why do relationships have to end when one party has to go abroad then? There are many couples around who face such situations...where one of them goes abroad..& when things like these happen, break ups happen..why? Because of distance? But really, is distance that difficult to endure?

Love doesnt involve body contact alone (i.e hugging, kissin, touchin etc)..In fact, it means much more....care, honesty, loyalty, trust & patience...There are many more but these five traits alone can be the foundation to a strong relationship. Sure, long-distance relationships are tough but ever thought about the outcome?

So why are ppl afraid of long-distance relationships when they havent even tried? Some simply dont bother trying because they think it would not work out or they simply can't go on in a relationship without body contact or seeing the significant other. Well, is this really called love? If a couple is totally in love with each other, nothing would matter at all. Distance wouldnt be a barrier & the need to see or touch isnt necessary at all..

You don't have to be able to feel love physically..what matters more is the feeling of love in the hearts' of two ppl...Love is like the wind. You dont have to see it. You juz have to know it's there & feel it....

and another..

Monday, August 29, 2005
miki ojisan waiters....animals!!

i must admit, i made the right choice by not giving up the job at that period of time when things were "confusing & difficult" (only some of you know the story & i reckon they are those who have access to this site of mine..if you dont know the story & you're interested to know, let me know & i'll consider tellin). So yes..i can say without a doubt that working has been fun. At times boring, & at times too tiring. At total opposites, really..but it's been a helluva experience. I learnt lotsa stuff, no matter how small it was, i learnt stg. Sometimes, even stupid things. =D

Working has exposed me to ppl...different kinds of ppl with their attitudes..It really showed me how the real world is..Sure, i do know ppl have their attitudes, but i didnt expect some to be so totally bad..Then again, i thank them for acting that way or else i wouldnt have picked up on stg on the way. I've learnt to deal with ppl, & im still learning to be stronger in everything i do or come across..Most of all, i havta thank God for letting me work with a bunch of monkeys as staff. It makes work so much more fun & interesting (this sounds like some kinda award speech..haahah).

Even tho the staff are fun & "interesting" ppl, they are starting to get out of hand. I suppose every good thing turns bad at the end of the day??? I hope it doesnt get any worse tho...! Being the only waitress with waiters around you is b-a-d. Guys always take advantage..*shakes head*. JEEZ..It wasnt bad at first but now...disgusting..!

Animal no.1 has somehow found a way to make himself my "husband", yes, he's the flirty one & gettin a lil more disgusting & bolder than he should be. Animal no.1 was telling me a story from a horror movie today, about a couple happily in love when the jealousy of a third party ends the relationship with murder, so he could take the girl as his bride..& then he asked me if i wanted him to do this to me too..What the heck??!

Animal no.2 is the crazy-ass monkey who talks dirty all day long & pollutes my brain with stupid-silly-foreign-dirty language, teasing me & improvising watever i say to him with the foreign language of his which nobody seems to understand, always giving me a fright with his stupid scares & poking me in the sides giving me electrical body shocks.

Animal no.3 is the one who practises his energy on me, gripping me roughly with his bloody hands, trying to strangle me at times & blowing me away with so-called punches of his juz inches away from my face, i could even feel the wind. & Animal no.3 smeared my face with butter today.. ='(

Animal no.4...well, cant really call him an animal cos he doesnt give me a hard time..but then, he IS an animal too cos all he does is stares & laugh when the other animals go wild..

ahhhhhhhhh.....WORK ABUSE~!! I could juz die of a heart attack..Yes, work is tougher when you not only have to deal with ppl but with animals all day long! But THEN again, i learn stg else while working. =)

Anyone having problems handling their pets? Please consult me.

And More...

Thursday, July 14, 2005
Single Life

Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it doesn’t.

Why it sucks:

- miss the feeling of being loved
- feel lonely after a period of time
- nobody you can talk to for hours on phone
- cant get to know other ppl's (as in your boyfriend/girlfriend’s) life – depending on individual... cos it IS fun knowin their schedule
- no one to go out, spend time & do cuddly stuff with
- cinemas become a lil uninteresting
- nothing to look fwd to = no date
- have to pay for own expenditure =P (no I never took advantage…& I advise, it is bad to take advantage)
- no gifts from boyfriend/girlfriend which can make use of
- lonely valentine’s day (except if outing with friends)
- always cooped up at home if friends cant make it for outing
- no one to spill your heartfelt thoughts & feelings to
- no one to go crazy over
- no one to miss
- no more buying gifts to express love
- short of someone to care for
- no one to dress up for
- heart beats like normal – no more speeding up
- i could think about a million things…so yeh, I should stop here

Why it does not suck:

- no arguments
- no such thing as getting hurt
- don’t havta follow any ‘rules’
- can do things your own way…err sounds the same as the above
- spend more time with friends & cherish friendship & realize how important friendship is…oh yes, & also have great fun with friends
- don’t havta worry about any future
- don’t havta worry about the ‘end’
- dont havta feel all stupid & silly when cry when listening to sad songs
- no such songs as ‘how do I live’ to sing
- no tears to waste for no reason
- don’t havta feel stupid for small stupid things….
- dont havta feel so frustrated when problems with boyfriend/girlfriend arent solved
- Hmm..sorry for some repetition

Why it sucks = 19 points

Why it does not suck = 13 points

'Why it sucks' wins = get a boyfriend/girlfriend = i want a boyfriend too

Comments:
St@c3Y-J@n3 said...
WOWOW. Very interesting blog Jennifer Joo. Oh well,my advise is, don't look for these kinda things, let them come to u.;-)

Jennifer said...
hahahah..yes i know. Currently tho, am a bit afraid of the other sex. For after a whole lot of experiments, i feel they're nothing but a bunch of jerks. *sorry for insulting but is true* Found out that no matter how nice they are, there's still a bit of a jerk in each & every one of them. So i conclude, it's still better to stay single. But of course, not forever =D hahaha..When one comes to me, then..........i'll think about it

angelachye said...
hmm...i didnt noe wat to think of when i read ur blog..there r obviously good n bad stuff in everything...and i gota agree that no matter how nice guys r, there wil still be a bit of jerk in them...im so tired of guys...single life would be great for now...

felix tung said...
guys are not jerks, they are basically warm and beautiful human beings. they're all cute and cuddly. we are all cute and cuddly. you girls are just plain mean. MEAN !

M@rK said...
I agree with Felix... guys aren't jerks... pls do not overgeneralise... we're usually very nice until ppl annoy us....

Previous Entries 2005

Wednesday, January 19, 2005
being in love......without realising it?

I was readin this novel about this guy who was at war when he meets this girl & falls in love with her, making life more complicating for him. The girl however, does not want to cross the line of friendship with this guy, trying to prove to herself that they are only friends & will be only that throughout their survival at war. One day tho, this guy almost died & the girl then realised how important he actually was to her…more important than someone who was juz a friend. After that near-death experience, she realised she actually had feelings for him the way he had for her..All the while those feelings were buried deep down inside her that she didn’t know they even existed. She didn’t want to get involved with this guy & so, she never discovered those true feelings she had for him in the first place, till the last minute...

They both lead a happy life after the war ended (if you're wondering).

& so, this story made me wonder about facts of life. How things like this happen too. I bet many ppl out there face things like this. I for one, get confused over friendships (sometimes), wondering if there’re any hidden feelings behind it. I think that guy’s my friend. At the same time, there’s this unusual closeness btw us…which makes me get mixed up about my feelings..

No, I don’t see myself with him as my bf one day….but why are these feelings in the way? Feelings I cant quite read. Feelings i dont understand. Hmm..mine is totally a diff story from the one i read in that novel. lol. Is it? Well, i've had problems in this particular friendship tho. Not understading wat friendship that actually is. hAah..imagine..ME not knowing how to differentiate a friendship & a relationship..well, when it comes to that particular person. & i will say no more. Signing out.

Previous Entries 2005

Thursday, January 13, 2005
funny, weird....nice day

Three of my friends & i were out at gurney for at least 5 hours today. This outing was planned cos one of my friends was gonna leave for aus this sat to further her studies & so.. it was kinda a goodbye thingy. Anyway, everything was normal, we did wat a normal small group of friends would do, hanging around, eating, chatting & taking pics at the oddest places (even the toilet =D ). It was very fun. You don’t kid around like this with friends everyday y’know….One of my friends had to leave at 8.30pm & so that left the 3 of us.

We hung out at coffee bean for awhile & later, my friend told us she had some free coupon thing to get free tea or whatever at winter warmers. So we shifted there, sat outside, the waiter came & took our order, & since we all weren’t tea drinkers (it was herbal tea stuff), we asked the waiter to recommend us to some nice tea. & he “did”……..It came shortly after, peppermint & some sorta thing mixed with it, with a small cup of honey. Supposed to be for slimming & health (that was the explanation written in the menu!). My friend lifted the cover & took a sniff at it. Smelled peppermint alright..We didn’t really drink it then cos it was hot & we were feeling warm too & mosquitos were starting to bite. So we shifted (again!) inside to the air-conditioned place, with the same waiter helping us.

It was all cosy & cooling inside & we wanted to take a picture. That waiter happned to be there so he helped. He even removed a vase of flowers from the table in front to take our picture!!! We were totally embarrassed enough cos he did so many things for us…! Anyway we started to drink this totally….yucky tea. I haven’t drank anything like it before…If I drink tea, it’s either chinese or green tea….We were totally struggling to finish off that pot of free tea, adding as much honey as possible to the drink, thinking the honey would make the tea taste better..But it only tasted like toothpaste..Seriously! I was tryin to figure out what kinda familiar taste that was when my friend answered it for me….toothpaste.Lol. We were drinking tea that tasted disgustingly like toothpaste. We tried not to complain tho, as it was free….

FINALLY, we managed to finish that particular pot. Juz mins after..more like secs, one waiter came to our table holding another pot of tea. We juz stared at it blankly not knowin what was happening when he told us the..uh…..horrible but also…..nice (I should think) news. He was explaining about the tea he was about to serve us & explained that the earlier waiter (the one who helped & made us embarrass) treated us to it!!! We were so……….We juz started laughin. We were more embarrassed & bewildered! There we were struggling to finish up that pot & we get another! Luckily tho, this was much better, didn’t taste like toothpaste at all, but we struggled anyway.. & by the time we were done, man..my stomach was bloated with tea..When I got home I used the toilet right away. AHaha…

Anyway, after we were done drinking the 2nd pot, we went over to thank that guy, think his name’s Sean, (when that waiter who served mentioned stg like “sean treated”) & he was lost for words too when my friend asked wat brought him to do that. HAahah…the other friend of mine had to chip in to help him & not make him feel so embarrassed. Lol..wat an experience. We felt totally honoured =D Still don’t know what made him treat us to another pot of tea!!!! When I brushed my teeth earlier, I tasted the toothpaste tea we drank earlier…….Oh no….I’m gonna havta taste it every morn & nite….???!!!! HELP ME!! erk.....

Previous Entries 2004

Sunday, December 26, 2004
Once in a Lifetime Thing!!

This morn when I woke up, & since I was blur having juz woken up, I thought stg was wrong with me. Before I knew it, my mom rushed outta her room & asked if we felt a tremor. Then it hit me! It was actually a tremor. Earthquake in Indonesia with an 8.9 richter scale(watchin CNN). The tremor went on for awhile & then it stopped.

I heard from my grandmother the story when she was at church this morn too. The tremor was so bad there that everyone felt dizzy! Mass paused for awhile & ppl even rushed out of the church for fear that the building might collapse. We were on the way to PSC for lunch when I heard this story from my grandmother. I thought, so that was it. Little did I know what was gonna happen later.

We were having lunch at the snake temple, a place situated near the sea. I was so into my food that I didn’t notice anything at all till my bro commented about the white caps in the distance. I glanced up & strained my eyes (short sighted) to see if they were actually white caps or juz boats in the distance.

My dad comfirmed that they were white caps. A stretch of em, very far away but drawing nearer & increasing in number! Waves started to form…& I mean big ones. I didn’t really pay attention to it as it was quite far away & resumed my meal. My dad then asked us to shift over to another table as we were sittin at one the nearest to the sea. Without lookin up from my food , I commented saying he was exaggerating again, like always. But then, when I looked up after that…I was shocked to see a wave coming our way…

All of us moved away as the huge wave splashed over the rocks below, sending a huge spray of water up, wetting the table we were sittin on earlier! Everyone there was lookin out over the railing, gawking at wat they were seeing. The waves became bigger & more waves rushed in, & soon, the calm sea looked like an angry ocean. Water swept all around us as everybody fled outta that place.It was something I have never seen. The water rushed up, totally covering the beach, making it look like all of us were in the middle of some club which was situated in the middle of the sea!!!

The fence which separated the club from the public beach was washed down, flat on the ground (at that time it couldn’t even be seen as the water rushed in & swallowed everything) & the grill broke. Yes. Strong grills….The playground nearby was wrecked & water rushed up till the stairs leading to the level where we were at..I couldn’t see land at all…! It was a waste I didn’t have a video or camera with me..& this is stg which rarely happens & it was happening in front of my eyes! After a while tho, it subsided & the sea went back to normal. Calm & peaceful in a sunny & cloudless Sunday afternoon.....like ntg even happened in the first place! It went as sudden as it came.

We went down to check out the gym which was situated near the playground area but was indoors, of cos. Walked down the stairs……..& I saw water. Water all over. It covered till up to the final flight of stairs leading to the gym. As in the whole gym was flooded!! The water might have seeped in or broken the gym glass from the outside earlier…or else I don’t think it would have gotten THIS bad. Man….it really reminded me of “ Day after Tomorrow”…..

As I was making my way up, I heard a thundering sound. I rushed out juz in time to see another very huge wave…The force of the wave smashed the wooden fence & sent several beach chairs flying into the swimming pool!!! This 2nd one was so much worse than the first one! Nobody expected that to happen!! When the sea was so calm already….! It came as a huge shock….The club’s siren came on all of a sudden & blared in my ears. It was so frightening!! When this wave finally subsided, the whole pool was a mess. It was so murky & chairs were floating in it, some even broken!! Tree trunks which the waves brought in were also in the pool. It was such an ugly sight.

When we made sure the sea was totally calm already, my dad, bro & I made our way to the carpark thru inside the club, instead of walkin to the carpark thru the roadside while my mom & grandmother went up to the reception which was on higher ground. We wanted to check out stuff & man….It was only then that I realized how much damage the whole wave made.

The whole walkway leading to the carpark, (which was actually not that close from the beach but situated juz near it overlooking the sea) was totally wet. The floors were all wet & the tiles on the roof even broke!!!!!! We went on to the sailing section….& man…It was totally….The store which was used to keep water sports equipment was all wrecked!! & boats seemed to be scattered everywhere!! Canoes were broken into half. yes..It was stg I have never seen in my entire life & there it was. Right before my eyes….Like some hurricane juz landed or stg….& the whole place was covered with sand!! Like it was another beach!

It was in a terrible state, the whole place. Those chairs & tables also broke. Those made out of stone. STONE. Could you imagine that??! Ok well, not exactly stone, im not sure wat its made of…but y’know those chairs & tables by the beach kinda thing…with the umbrellas over it kind…yeh. THOSE were all broken leaving juz the remains of it…It was terrible!! Never in my wildest dreams have I thought I would witness this kinda stuff…It was like stg you usually watch on TV! But here it was all right in front of me. It was exciting but scary….I heard so many ambulances rushing up to the batu feringghi area…I guess many ppl got hurt up there…where all the beach hotels are…..

Anyways, my dad went to get the car & my bro & I stood watchin at the carpark, a good view of the sea..Suddenly we saw yet another one. White caps coming with huge waves – again. This time in a diff direction. It headed to those houses by the beach….tg bungah area…What happened there…….i seriously don’t know……But lookin at how the waves totally covered up the beach from a far distance…it wasn’t good news..

When we were having lunch earlier, when it all juz started to happen, there were 3 boats out in sea. Those fisherman boats…When the waves came, I saw one of the boats sailing away from it..But then it stopped behind an island(the island was nearby)..a distance away from when the white caps came. I guess that fella stopped to watch it all….& like all of us, never thought the waves would come in so fast…..When he saw the waves getting bigger, I could see him – or whoever that was in the boat – trying to sail away as fast as he can…The next thing I knew tho……..Well, I saw with my very own eyes…the boat capsized. It got swept under the sea & totally disappeared. In a blink of an eye. I never ever saw that boat again. It didn’t bop up at all. Juz went under. Totally. Forever. Juz like that…I felt so shaken up & shocked juz watchin this. It was like an action movie playing before me. I felt the terror of that fisherman…Imagine yourself being thrown into the sea & swept away never being able to come up for air or to see the world again……

This whole incident reminded me of how short life is…Lil kids might be playing in the sand under a beautiful Sunday afternoon..& suddenly the waves come & juz sweep em away…….…How sad could it be..? I heard many kids died up at batu ferringhi. I heard more stories after tho…when my friend smsed me & told me they were at gurney..tryin to see if another wave would come. & indeed it did…..

My mom also called the club a few mins after we got home. It seemed the situation got worse than when we left..Everyone was asked to vacate the club!! Whew….When I was in the midst of it all, sure I was excited, but I was scared too. Scared for the ppl who were in those places where it was all happening..Indo, Phuket, Sri Lanka & I don’t know how many other places..If a small wave like that could cause havoc already…how about those ppl there? Man…I felt their fear……Well, it wasn’t a small wave..But compared to those places, it IS small…It was totally like a tidal wave. It was one actually….Juz the not-so-big ones…..well, big enough to wreck half the club!!!!

Today was stg I never dreamt about. It came all of a sudden, under a cloudless blue sky & peaceful, calm sea…It was like a perfect Sunday kinda thing..No wind at all. It wasnt cloudy..NOTHING. Who ever thought such a thing would happen?! If you were at home not knowing nethin, you’d be thinking the world was such a safe place to live in……..Appreciate what you have. Your life, your friends, your family. All your loved ones…Cos life is definitely short….

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Previous Entries

Before I closed off the first and original blogspot I had, I couldnt help it but to read whatever I had posted so far right from when I started. Obviously, there were different patterns of writing, the first few entries (and most of them) having not-so-mature thoughts. I actually came across some interesting entries which contained things I had almost forgotten about, but clearly remembered them once I read thru them. I felt it such a waste to delete the entire blog without saving the special, interesting ones which had memorable, rare occasions. Thus, decided to post them here; original entries I wrote, non-edited - so don't laugh if it actually does sound childish =P



About the "author"...(more like blogger)

I used to blog and even owned two blogs. One on blogspot, the other on xanga. How ambitious of me but it seems those two blogs have been shut down now. The blogging spirit seems to come and go; it feels as tho there is a blogging season - maybe only occuring to me? That's how I started off with xanga anyway. I had the enthusiasm to blog again, having new thoughts in my mind and wanting to put them down into words since I've stopped writing diaries since before I entered college...and besides the fact that the original blogspot I first started off with was filled with depressing, sad, I-only-write-to-release-emotions entries. Well, not the WHOLE blog filled with that, but most of them were I guess.

But guess what? Not long after I owned xanga and started blogging, the blogging spirit died down. I have only got 6 entries in xanga. So much for being ambitious. After that, I stopped blogging altogether. Well, maybe continued a bit at the blogspot one whenever I felt like it. But I've stopped blogging since September 2006. And THAT is a very long time. Almost a year now.

But hooray! Here I am once again, with the blogging season underway. New thoughts forming in my mind, mature ones this time. SO before they threaten to escape my mind, I simply have to put it down into words. Yes, the blogging spirit is in full force. But something tells me it'll fade away, just like it did with xanga. But ah well, I will not shut down this blog like I did those two, cos it'll be a better blog, with more mature thoughts and a more sophisticated level of english. Lol.

Even if the blogging spirit I have now were to die away (I know this will happen once uni begins, cos then I wont have time to think so much thus, less thoughts to pen down) there's still this blog waiting for me whenever the blogging season returns. Yes, the/my blogging spirit fluctuates...just like the economy does.

Have fun you readers (if there are even any). And when I do investigate and come across any of you who were to read my blog halfway and close the window/doze off/cbb continueing to read and settling for doing stg else instead, I will SUE you. Either come to this page to read, or don't come at all. Blogging takes a lot of time and thought and hard work you know... Give me a little credit. But who am I to say all those when I'm wasting my own time and thought and hard work here??

Lol. Ok, better run before I launch into crap-mode.

PS. I will be watching you........... (searches for a wriggling-eyebrow emoticon but realizes there aren't any emoticons available)