Friday, November 21, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
BRrrrr bRrrrr BRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!
Ok, so i decided to go to magill to study tonight even though jen decided to bail on me. We were sposed to go there together to study. So anyway, i decided to go there since i've found it so HARD to study at home. Even though it meant having to take the bus & waste time waiting here & there, i figured this lost time could be off-set by being able to study much better over there than at home.
Everything was fine till i got there. The library which was sposed to close at 12am was CLOSED when i got there!!!!!! Defeated the whole purpose!!! SO i ended up studying at the computer pools. & it kinda got a lil eerie (freaky scene 1) when the other guy who was inside left & i was left all alone. Sigh. Decided to ignore the feeling & just study.
Figured i couldnt concentrate anymore & thought i'd better catch the next bus before i missed the last bus (which i wasnt even sure what time it was sposed to be) so i left at about 10pm cos the next bus was sposed to be at 10.05 or so i thought - cos i knew in the arvo that the bus comes every .05 minutes past the hour.
The walk to the bus stop was freaky as well (freaky scene 2) cos a previous memory came back to my mind where a friend gave me a scare & i started thinking all sorts of things!!! It was dark & you had to cut across a deserted parking lot to get to a street & continue walking down that street till you get to the main road. SIgh. Thank god for music on mobile phones. It distracts you even if a bit.
So then when i finally got to the bus stop & checked the timetable.......alas! The next bus was only at 10.39pm! The reason there was no 10.05pm bus (altho the previous hours there were) i should think was due to it being the last bus at 10.39pm. & it was 10.05pm then. So it meant having to wait for at least half an hour! GOsh. So i was all alone at the bus stop waiting for the bloody bus to come, every sec felt like an hour that sorta thing. The road was deserted except for the occasional cars passing by (freaky scene 3). I was starting to get soooooo agitated - if this is even the right word to describe. Or i should say jumpy. Road deserted, dark, alone at bus stop. Sigh. omgosh. When i found out the library was closed i already regretted even deciding to go to magill..!
Ok anyway, whilst waiting.....at 10.30pm. This taxi driver suddenly pulled up to the bus stop & shouted something out the window & i didnt bother paying attention to what he said, i just shook my head & waved a no - cos i thought he wanted to ask if i needed a taxi ride. But he still didnt drive off & continued shouting out the window. So then i went over to hear what he was actually saying & he was saying he could give me a free ride since he was heading to the city & that it was already late & that i still had to wait for the bus for a while. & i was thinking to myself "gosh, a free ride!!!! hell, why not!?" & in desperation, i got into the taxi, taking up that great offer! A FREE ride to the city! yEAAaaaahh!
But once i got into the taxi.........i tell you, i had goosebumps all over!! (freaky scene 4) Although Oz's sposed to be safe & everything, somehow everything i learned from back home came crashing into my memory. "NEVER FOLLOW A STRANGER HOME" Ok even though he's a taxi driver, still all those rape cases & EVERYTHING in malaysia totally scared the shit outta me!! OMG. I was SO freaked out in that taxi - more freaked out than thinking about supernatural/ghostly stuff while walking back earlier on. I mean, what if he drove off & took me somewhere else!?? AHHHhhhhhhh!!!!!! I just couldnt believe someone would offer a free ride JUST LIKE THAT! There was sure a price to pay! I was cursing myself inwardly for my STUPIDITY!!! & the taxi driver was from INDIA! Which made it even scarier when he's a MIGRANT! If he was an australian i wouldnt be scared shitless cos somehow aussies are...well, more trustable! OMG. Still feeling the goosebumps as i type now.
Anyhow, i tried to conceal my fear & since he talked to me, i also talked to him & just made normal conversation & everything...at the same time, looking out to see if he stayed on track & took the road that lead back to the city!! Ah, in the end, it seemed like he was a very good samaritan! Thank God I'm back home safe & typing this!!!!
........STILL HAVING GOOSEBUMPS!!!!!
Oh gosh. WHAT A NIGHT!!
Never again going to magill by myself!
I've been having so much trouble studying it's NOT funny.
I dont know why my brain simply isnt able to focus. & time's running out as it is. It's already my SWOT week. Gosh.
My brain had better kick-start & get back to normal operating capacity SOON!
or i'm screwed. like SCREWED!
It's EXAMS!! not just anything else. ahhhhh.......
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Ahhhhhhhhh. What a greeeeeat day. LOL.
Anyways, how do you get someone you like to tell you they like you!? Ok, i know. What a weird question.
But really. My feelings for this particular person has been fluctuating so much, sometimes i dont even know what they are. It's like flipping the light switch on & off. ARGH! I wanna know what it is now!!
.............this post is just WEIRD.
It's cos im "bored". & pondering about this thing. hmmmmmmm. Since last year. LOL. Can you imagine?? hahaha. How interesting. Even i say so myself.
But really. (lol. just realised this is the second time im starting off a paragraph with "but really") yeah. well. This person could help me save myself from 'The Ass'. Or more like 'The Used-to-be Ass'. Since he's not that much of an ass now as he's changed. But i still wonder how much he's actually changed. I mean, once an ass always an ass right? Unless something outta A Walk to Remember happens & he totally changes from an ass to something heaps better then it's a whole different story.
Sooo yeah. THIS GUY. He's taking too long. Ok, maybe it's my fault as well. I seriously need to know what i want. Thing is, I. DON'T. KNOW.
Dyou know how much it sucks when you simply DONT know what you want?? I feel as if i dont know what i want most times. When it comes to career/studies (dunno why im doin accounting - cos i dunno what i want). Or.. i dont know. lol. I just dont know what i want most of the time. Even simple decisions. So then when it comes to a guy, no difference. I dont know what i want too.
Hmmmmmm. Pointless blog. & i cant believe how fast time flies when you're doing nice things!!! =''(
surprised pic no. 1
when the cake was brought over! my, i didnt know i look so fat & ugly when i'm surprised. lol!
surprised pic no.2
i have no clue what i was doin! wiping my mouth? lol
surprised pic no.3
trying to digest the whole thing & still not believing the whole bumping-into-them was planned!
the four of us
the yummy cake up close! it's called the jamaican cheesecake or something like that
All in all, a very very pleasant surprise which totally threw me off balance! lol. ok it's a metaphor. But i'm still going on & on about it.......gosh. LOVE SURPRISESSSSSSSSSSSssssssssss!!!!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I simply CANNOT stand people who twist their words around..
Whether it being
- twisting their facts around to add extra "stuff" into the story even if those things are untrue;
- twisting their words and trying to beat around the bush to get away with some lame excuse;
- twisting what they said around after they've personally realised they're wrong/dont make sense yet they don't want to be wrong; or
- twisting everything into another whole different meaning just so they can be right - even though they started off with some other meaning (well, basically almost the same as previous point)
It is HELL annoying.
Too bad i know a few people who are actually "twisters". Sigh.
But then 'patience is a virtue', so it gives me a chance to at least work on that.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Ok, maybe for the obvious ones, I can really tell. Friends from high school, friends from church, friends you've known all those years back & all that.
But really, i should rephrase my question.
WHO THE HELL ARE MY REAL, TRUE FRIENDS??!
For crying out loud. Sometimes I just dont know. This, i'm talking from a "close friend" sort of perspective. Not just some acquaintance or friend, but someone who has known to a certain degree, the details of your life. Your secrets, dreams, hopes...THAT kinda friend.
I mean, i do know who they are. It's not like im saying i dont know who my real friends are at all. I do know a number of them whom i am VERY sure are my true friends. There's somehow a mutual feeling/trust/understanding & you just know he/she will be there for you or is thinking of you even if you dont keep in touch for a while.
But other than that..........the rest of them.......uh-uh. Clueless. Friends that go all the way back, friends you thought would always be there, friends you once thought were your BEST friend.. I dont know if we're even close anymore! Even though I always had this thought that they'd always have a space for you, i find myself doubting this thought now. Cos as they meet more people & form more friendships, you tend to be forgotten. Sad fact.
Maybe I'm just wrong & i think too much or whatever. But what happens when you've done yr part in trying to keep in touch & there isnt any response from the other side? Every single time it's always you being the one to initiate a keep-in-touch email/conversation/msg - & they might or might not reply to that. But even if they do reply, they never initiate.
So then, i wonder to myself, "Do i really have such an insignificant impact in their lives that they just dont bother so much?? Am i that insignificant?!". Seriously, i wonder this allll the time. ARGH. It's HEAPS frustrating i tell you. It's like chasing after a friendship(s) wondering if they still treat you as the friend you perceive the friendship to still be. But when they cant make time for you but you find out they can make time for others - that's when it hurts.
Sigh. Maybe i shouldnt bother anymore. It's just that I'm the type who simply hangs on to the past & memories that i cant bring myself to waste all those. But since they dont bother, i shouldnt waste my effort anymore right? It's just like trying to light a match which is wet. There wont be any fire. I'd rather use this effort to be with the friends i know are REAL. GRRRRRRRRR!
These real friends i know to be real had better stay real!!! I feel like im losing my friends. & that's why the constant thought about how much impact i actually have in my friends' lives to make me be remembered/forgotten.
ahh..yakking all my feelings in a post - havent done this in a while but sure feels gooooood.