'Everybody sees how you seem; however, only some know who you are'

Friday, November 21, 2008

EXHAUSTED!!!

I cant remember how exhausting it is clearing up every single thing in your room. Well, i dont think i recall ever clearing up my room before except the time when it came to pack up & leave penang for aus in the first place. & that packing was done in a span of....i dont know how many days. oh gosh. Packing up every single object in your room is heaps tiring!! & it really doesnt help when the weather is shit weather. It feels like autumn instead of spring going into summer. gosh. Where's the SUN!?! I need it! Was all happy when spring finally came & all but the sun kept disappearing =S Man, so much for wanting to "utilise" all my shorts. I'm still stuck in jackets. =( Oh well, only 2 more days to go before i get a lifetime of sun! =D but actually more like only 3 months (or more) of sun. Sun, sun, sunnnnn. Ah, i HATE this weather!! It makes you wanna sleep all day. & i was sposed to go out today to check out the honey my mom asked me to. lol. ended up sleeping the whole arvo away instead. oookay! a random post. much left to do! Next time you hear from me, i would've been back to where i belong!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!

AHHhhhhhh!!!!!!! I'm still having goosebumps all over...!!!!

BRrrrr bRrrrr BRrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

Shit.

Ok, so i decided to go to magill to study tonight even though jen decided to bail on me. We were sposed to go there together to study. So anyway, i decided to go there since i've found it so HARD to study at home. Even though it meant having to take the bus & waste time waiting here & there, i figured this lost time could be off-set by being able to study much better over there than at home.

Everything was fine till i got there. The library which was sposed to close at 12am was CLOSED when i got there!!!!!! Defeated the whole purpose!!! SO i ended up studying at the computer pools. & it kinda got a lil eerie (freaky scene 1) when the other guy who was inside left & i was left all alone. Sigh. Decided to ignore the feeling & just study.

Figured i couldnt concentrate anymore & thought i'd better catch the next bus before i missed the last bus (which i wasnt even sure what time it was sposed to be) so i left at about 10pm cos the next bus was sposed to be at 10.05 or so i thought - cos i knew in the arvo that the bus comes every .05 minutes past the hour.

The walk to the bus stop was freaky as well (freaky scene 2) cos a previous memory came back to my mind where a friend gave me a scare & i started thinking all sorts of things!!! It was dark & you had to cut across a deserted parking lot to get to a street & continue walking down that street till you get to the main road. SIgh. Thank god for music on mobile phones. It distracts you even if a bit.

So then when i finally got to the bus stop & checked the timetable.......alas! The next bus was only at 10.39pm! The reason there was no 10.05pm bus (altho the previous hours there were) i should think was due to it being the last bus at 10.39pm. & it was 10.05pm then. So it meant having to wait for at least half an hour! GOsh. So i was all alone at the bus stop waiting for the bloody bus to come, every sec felt like an hour that sorta thing. The road was deserted except for the occasional cars passing by (freaky scene 3). I was starting to get soooooo agitated - if this is even the right word to describe. Or i should say jumpy. Road deserted, dark, alone at bus stop. Sigh. omgosh. When i found out the library was closed i already regretted even deciding to go to magill..!

Ok anyway, whilst waiting.....at 10.30pm. This taxi driver suddenly pulled up to the bus stop & shouted something out the window & i didnt bother paying attention to what he said, i just shook my head & waved a no - cos i thought he wanted to ask if i needed a taxi ride. But he still didnt drive off & continued shouting out the window. So then i went over to hear what he was actually saying & he was saying he could give me a free ride since he was heading to the city & that it was already late & that i still had to wait for the bus for a while. & i was thinking to myself "gosh, a free ride!!!! hell, why not!?" & in desperation, i got into the taxi, taking up that great offer! A FREE ride to the city! yEAAaaaahh!

But once i got into the taxi.........i tell you, i had goosebumps all over!! (freaky scene 4) Although Oz's sposed to be safe & everything, somehow everything i learned from back home came crashing into my memory. "NEVER FOLLOW A STRANGER HOME" Ok even though he's a taxi driver, still all those rape cases & EVERYTHING in malaysia totally scared the shit outta me!! OMG. I was SO freaked out in that taxi - more freaked out than thinking about supernatural/ghostly stuff while walking back earlier on. I mean, what if he drove off & took me somewhere else!?? AHHHhhhhhhh!!!!!! I just couldnt believe someone would offer a free ride JUST LIKE THAT! There was sure a price to pay! I was cursing myself inwardly for my STUPIDITY!!! & the taxi driver was from INDIA! Which made it even scarier when he's a MIGRANT! If he was an australian i wouldnt be scared shitless cos somehow aussies are...well, more trustable! OMG. Still feeling the goosebumps as i type now.

Anyhow, i tried to conceal my fear & since he talked to me, i also talked to him & just made normal conversation & everything...at the same time, looking out to see if he stayed on track & took the road that lead back to the city!! Ah, in the end, it seemed like he was a very good samaritan! Thank God I'm back home safe & typing this!!!!

........STILL HAVING GOOSEBUMPS!!!!!

Oh gosh. WHAT A NIGHT!!

Never again going to magill by myself!

something is WRONG

with ME.

I've been having so much trouble studying it's NOT funny.

I dont know why my brain simply isnt able to focus. & time's running out as it is. It's already my SWOT week. Gosh.

SOMETHING'S WRONG!!!

My brain had better kick-start & get back to normal operating capacity SOON!

or i'm screwed. like SCREWED!

It's EXAMS!! not just anything else. ahhhhh.......

Sunday, November 2, 2008

hmmm.... =)

Wooohoooo! 2 entries in a day! hahaha.. Havent done this in a while. this is when i've got more important stuff to do (like study) but choose to waste time doing some other thing. yay! Fun fun! lol. i am sooooooooo demotivated & i sure as hell do not like the way things are heading!! But oh well, i'll still blog anyway!

Ahhhhhhhhh. What a greeeeeat day. LOL.

SIgh.

Anyways, how do you get someone you like to tell you they like you!? Ok, i know. What a weird question.

But really. My feelings for this particular person has been fluctuating so much, sometimes i dont even know what they are. It's like flipping the light switch on & off. ARGH! I wanna know what it is now!!

.............this post is just WEIRD.

It's cos im "bored". & pondering about this thing. hmmmmmmm. Since last year. LOL. Can you imagine?? hahaha. How interesting. Even i say so myself.

But really. (lol. just realised this is the second time im starting off a paragraph with "but really") yeah. well. This person could help me save myself from 'The Ass'. Or more like 'The Used-to-be Ass'. Since he's not that much of an ass now as he's changed. But i still wonder how much he's actually changed. I mean, once an ass always an ass right? Unless something outta A Walk to Remember happens & he totally changes from an ass to something heaps better then it's a whole different story.

Sooo yeah. THIS GUY. He's taking too long. Ok, maybe it's my fault as well. I seriously need to know what i want. Thing is, I. DON'T. KNOW.

Dyou know how much it sucks when you simply DONT know what you want?? I feel as if i dont know what i want most times. When it comes to career/studies (dunno why im doin accounting - cos i dunno what i want). Or.. i dont know. lol. I just dont know what i want most of the time. Even simple decisions. So then when it comes to a guy, no difference. I dont know what i want too.

Hmmmmmm. Pointless blog. & i cant believe how fast time flies when you're doing nice things!!! =''(

AHHHhhhhh....!!!!

I am still in shocked-surprised mode!

I can't believe my friends actually surprised me today..!! =DDD

Although it's still quite early before my actual, real birthday, it wouldnt have made a difference anyway since however i celebrate it (if i even were to celebrate), it'd either be a very early one or a very late one. All because my birthday falls during exam period this year. So no, i wasnt planning any celebration - even though turning 21 usually calls for a massive celebration. But I'll just change the rules. I mean there arent any rules in the first place which states you've gotta throw a big party on your 21st, right? It's just a norm to do that. Ok, i think by now i obviously sound like i'm trying to console myself. lol.

Ok, ok, anyway. Here's the story..!!

Since a week or so ago, ee lin & i were planning to go to Sushi Train for lunch today just to have a nice lunch out since we havent eaten yummy outside food in a while. So both of us have been looking fwd to today for this lunch!

...................
omg. i dont even know how to tell this story properly. The way everything unfolded....it was near-perfect!!! The situation & everything was so...NORMAL. Ok, i mean it IS a surprise. But i still cant believe how everything turned out to be like THAT. Too natural. lol. okok, i'm just not used to surprises; I havent had any for a verrry long time!

ANYWAY, both of us happened to miss the tram so we went there a tad later than planned. When we got to sushi train, ee lin spotted jen & yong over there & i was like, "what?! do those ppl come to sushi train every weekend or something!?" Cos last week, they had lunch there as well. So then, we joined them to eat - they were already halfway thru lunch having finished several sushi plates.. (Ah, still cant believe how unsuspecting it all was. LOL. Reminds me of one of Backstreet Boys' songs "Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon". hahahah. Totally fits the title for today!)

SO yeah, we all had fun eating & talking like a normal just-bumped-into-friends-&-joining-them kinda situation. Coincidentally, i swapped places with yong to sit on the inner side of the table so i could be near the sushi belt. So when he excused himself to go somewhere - i wasnt even paying attention cos we had some sorta girl talk going on there - & came back with a cake to the table, i was like..

WHATTT!!???!! OMG..!! omg...! (I dunno what else i said, lol. cant rmb, i was just sooooo surprised!!)

So yeah. Luckily i didnt actually TEAR. Almost teared but didnt. whew! The last time my friends surprised me for my..18th bday? Yeah, should be 18th. Yeah, her mom baked a cake & altho it was a get-together with a few close friends, i was sooo surprised when they brought the cake out & surprised me with it i actually teared up. lol. Glad i didnt tear in public with this one!

& it was then when the cake was sitting at the table & i was still in a daze that i realised that the whole thing was planned!! Mini, very-early 21st celebration but still a great one! Although 2 others couldnt make it & i dont think i'd be celebrating with my other bunch of friends, who cares anymore? lol. It really is more meaningful when you're with important ppl no matter how informal & impromptu the whole thing was. lol.

AH, i just LOVE surprises!!! Surprises of any kind & i'd take it with a BIG smile! lol.

A very very BIG THANK YOU to the mastermind behind this, ee lin, for planning this surprise lunch! *hugs again* =D After that incident & seeing that the cake was from The Cheesecake Shop did everything fall into place. Cos she's mentioned cakes from that shop once in a while, now seemingly to dig out info from me about which cheesecake i'd like. It's this shop we both discovered when we were sightseeing at Port Adelaide..& we were just totally captured by the cakes in that shop!! All yummy-lookin cheesecakes! Well, I got mine today! har har!!

Ah, at least a celebration. Better than none! =D
& here's the sequence of my shocked-surprised expressions caught on camera:

surprised pic no. 1

when the cake was brought over! my, i didnt know i look so fat & ugly when i'm surprised. lol!


surprised pic no.2

i have no clue what i was doin! wiping my mouth? lol

surprised pic no.3

trying to digest the whole thing & still not believing the whole bumping-into-them was planned!



the four of us

the yummy cake up close! it's called the jamaican cheesecake or something like that

All in all, a very very pleasant surprise which totally threw me off balance! lol. ok it's a metaphor. But i'm still going on & on about it.......gosh. LOVE SURPRISESSSSSSSSSSSssssssssss!!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

"twisters"

No, i dont mean that KFC twister.

........

I simply CANNOT stand people who twist their words around..

Whether it being
  • twisting their facts around to add extra "stuff" into the story even if those things are untrue;
  • twisting their words and trying to beat around the bush to get away with some lame excuse;
  • twisting what they said around after they've personally realised they're wrong/dont make sense yet they don't want to be wrong; or
  • twisting everything into another whole different meaning just so they can be right - even though they started off with some other meaning (well, basically almost the same as previous point)

It is HELL annoying.

Too bad i know a few people who are actually "twisters". Sigh.

But then 'patience is a virtue', so it gives me a chance to at least work on that.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

friends

Sometimes i just wonder this: "who the hell are my friends!?"

Ok, maybe for the obvious ones, I can really tell. Friends from high school, friends from church, friends you've known all those years back & all that.

But really, i should rephrase my question.

WHO THE HELL ARE MY REAL, TRUE FRIENDS??!

For crying out loud. Sometimes I just dont know. This, i'm talking from a "close friend" sort of perspective. Not just some acquaintance or friend, but someone who has known to a certain degree, the details of your life. Your secrets, dreams, hopes...THAT kinda friend.

I mean, i do know who they are. It's not like im saying i dont know who my real friends are at all. I do know a number of them whom i am VERY sure are my true friends. There's somehow a mutual feeling/trust/understanding & you just know he/she will be there for you or is thinking of you even if you dont keep in touch for a while.

But other than that..........the rest of them.......uh-uh. Clueless. Friends that go all the way back, friends you thought would always be there, friends you once thought were your BEST friend.. I dont know if we're even close anymore! Even though I always had this thought that they'd always have a space for you, i find myself doubting this thought now. Cos as they meet more people & form more friendships, you tend to be forgotten. Sad fact.

Maybe I'm just wrong & i think too much or whatever. But what happens when you've done yr part in trying to keep in touch & there isnt any response from the other side? Every single time it's always you being the one to initiate a keep-in-touch email/conversation/msg - & they might or might not reply to that. But even if they do reply, they never initiate.

So then, i wonder to myself, "Do i really have such an insignificant impact in their lives that they just dont bother so much?? Am i that insignificant?!". Seriously, i wonder this allll the time. ARGH. It's HEAPS frustrating i tell you. It's like chasing after a friendship(s) wondering if they still treat you as the friend you perceive the friendship to still be. But when they cant make time for you but you find out they can make time for others - that's when it hurts.

Sigh. Maybe i shouldnt bother anymore. It's just that I'm the type who simply hangs on to the past & memories that i cant bring myself to waste all those. But since they dont bother, i shouldnt waste my effort anymore right? It's just like trying to light a match which is wet. There wont be any fire. I'd rather use this effort to be with the friends i know are REAL. GRRRRRRRRR!

These real friends i know to be real had better stay real!!! I feel like im losing my friends. & that's why the constant thought about how much impact i actually have in my friends' lives to make me be remembered/forgotten.

ahh..yakking all my feelings in a post - havent done this in a while but sure feels gooooood.

Friday, October 10, 2008

lalalaaaa.....

Funny how there seems to be SO many other things to do when it comes down to doin work.

You suddenly realise you haven't paid your rent, so you go to online banking & transfer cash & then get to that rent website to pay online.

Then you also realise you havent calculated the total of last month's expenditure - so you take out the calculator & start calculating.....& then get disappointed at yrself for going over the monthly budget.

Then you just have to check facebook to see what's new even though you've just checked a few minutes ago.

Then there's the urge to chat with friends even though you talk to them all the time.

& that's why im also blogging now.

Hooray!!!

Anything to escape reading work/life-shitty-balance articles.

Oh well, i'd better get back to reading it or i'll be screwed!.........which i already am.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

counting the days

Once i finish this last assignment which is due this monday, i know the days will zoooooom by quickly!

Even though it means having to study my ass off for exams ONCE MORE, it just means the days are drawing nearer to when i get to the airport!! whooooo!!! i loveeeeeee going to the airport - only if it means taking off to some other place where fun awaits!

ahhhhhhhhh!

totally cant wait for summer break this year. craving everything it has to offer 10 times more than i did last year! yeeeeeeeeha!

dum-be-dee-dum-dum

okay time to sleep

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Kuda Gila

Which literally translates into Crazy Horse. lol.

& that's the name of the strip club I went to last night.

How ever did this come about? lol. it's pretty funny actually. Very very impromptu. It's cos i've been "excitement deprived" lately & whilst tlkin to jen online she jokingly suggested that i should go to madame mozelle's or some sort like that (we later found out the name's actually madame josephine when we went last nite lol). That's a male strip club which is just beside Crazy Horse.

ANyWay, her joke hatched into a plan - since both of us havent been to a strip club before, we decided to do something since we had nothing on last night. Thus, decided to go to Crazy Horse which is a female strip club - instead of the male one. Since Crazy Horse is also more popular.

So yeah. Her housemate (who decided at the very last minute to follow us cos he's already been before), she & I headed over to Crazy Horse before 9pm last night. It was a strict "rule" to go there before 9 cos I found out from my friend that entry's free if you enter before 9. & i DEFINITELY wanted to get in for free - that was the whole purpose. Cos i obviously do not want to pay to see naked girls when I myself look about the same, naked. Ok maybe not so, since those girls have more assets than I do but you get my drift. I didnt want to waste money on that.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Guess what!!! I was soooooooo annoyed I had to waste 15 freakin dollars for entry last nite!!!! I was sooo "arghhhh!" so i asked the girl why we had to pay & when the free entry actually was? & she says,"Oh, it's free every night actually. It's just that the boss wanted entry fee this weekend cos it's a 4-day weekend". LIKE WTH!!!! ARghhhhhh. So much for wanting to save!!

Ok, so what's happened already happened. Moving on.

It's quite typical really, like those you see in movies. The setting & all. Basically it looks like a model runway. Just a runway with poles here & there. I wasnt exactly very excited or...whatever-feeling-it's-sposed-to-be when seeing those strippers coming out. It just felt normal like i've seen all & been there before. LOL. Don't ask me why, i dont know why either. The strippers all come out one by one, individually, perform their thang for a few minutes, leave & then another would come out & so on.

Some strippers were really hot. They've got awesome bods - makes me want to work harder to achieve mine. lol. I'm still workin on it. Dont know how/when i got into this phase to want to get a great bod with as little fat as possible.. & abs..hm. But seeing all those really made me want to get it!!!! I'm quite surprised tho, that there were some strippers who were quite plump & not that tall too. Those were an eyesore..Like really. Wth man, exposing yr body to the public when you're not in good shape at all. gosh..

Anyhow, jen's hsemate decided to purchase this..dont know what you call it, but we were all sitting close to the 'runway' & most of the guys there bought money from the waitress - it's this wad of fake cash you use to pay those strippers to have them do "something" to you. Imagine the casino. Paying real money, to get fake money, then using that fake money to win (or lose in the gambling sense lol). SO yeah, the guys there all hold out those notes & when the stripper comes about, they'll get a "boob wash". lol.

& yeah jen's hsemate bought 10 bucks worth & he used up only a bit & was asking us to help him finish it off. & i was caught off guard. When the stripper came over to our section he paid her & pointed at ME! like omg. even tho there was a girl there who also had a "boob wash" it's still embarrassing & i totally didnt want it. But then even refusing, everyone was being expectant & there were this 2 guys near us who cheered so in the end i had to put my face to some stripper's boobs & let her jingle it all over my face. LOL. Se-rious-ly. I wonder how guys get so much excitement from these things it amazes me. But it was an experience tho, at least something intersting to do rather than staying home.

Jen actually got her "boob wash" first, followed by me. So actually, i wasnt really caught off guard - since i KNEW that guy was gonna make us help him finish off his "money"!!!! sheesh!

Still, i'll just take it as some experience. hehehe. & when we had the "boob wash", at least the stripper was still half clothed - as in bikini mode. So we ddint have to put our face to bare breasts. lol. whew.

So that's just the account of the once-off event. Just so you know what a strip club is like. Thanks to jen for bringin that idea up, at least now i've been to a strip club. HAR HAR HAR...! & might as well seize the opportunity since home doesnt offer things like this =)

Friday, September 26, 2008

woop woop!

I had the most AMAZING swim i've ever had this arvo.

I cant even rmb when was the last time i had sucha good swim - if ever.

It might be the best swim i've had so far in my life, who knows. lol.

I decided to go swimming today because i just had this...."thing" to want to go swimming since a while ago & i havent gone till now. Since the weather was at its hottest today, i just decided to seize the day! Even if it meant going on my own! =D I think going on yr own is actually better. You dont fool around with yr friends (like what happened the times i went with friends) & there's more motivation to actually do laps than play funny-weird-fun games with yr friends in the pool. hahaha.

Anyway, the walk to the adelaide aquatic centre - where the pool is - was about 30minutes from the apmt. I took this as my warm up. Damn. It was soo bloody hot though. Felt like summer!! By the time i got there i actually felt tired already..!

Butttt..once i got into the pool.....decided to make use of the $5.60 worth of my money. lol. That's the fee you gotta pay to use the pool. SIgh. After today, i realised how much i miss swimming. damn. But that's not the interesting part. The interesting part was that i did 30 laps in an hour.

...............

I still cant believe it myself!!! hahaha. I dont think ive ever done this many in an hour before, back home. The most i've gone to was 20 i think?? mann..I'm soooooo amazed by my own achievement. lol. & the thing was, i wasnt really tired at all. Even after the swim, it felt as if i havent done any exercise today. How WEIRD. Just to test how far i could go, i decided to see how long i could do laps without stopping. After the 5th lap, i felt like i could still do an extra. I was sooooo baffled!!! Dunno if it's me, or if it's the pool. lol. At psc, after 1 lap, i'd already feel tired & i ALWAYS had to take a few mins' rest in btw 2 laps the least. But.....5 laps non-stop. omg. How did i do that???! It's either due to me having a super weird-good form today or my dancing everyday has really given me die-hard stamina i never knew i could have. LOL.

Hmmm, the only way to find out is to go swimming again...!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

weird parents...

I was at mass this morning when this family walked in a bit late & sat about 3 pews away from where i was sitting. The family caught my attention because
  1. they were late (obviously) & they were in clear view from where i sat
  2. the kids were so adorable. esp the youngest girl. they had 2 girls & 1 son. Age gap all very close..say oldest about 4-5? i rkn the oldest was the girl followed by the boy. or maybe it was the boy first followed by the 2 girls. but anyway, they had beautiful children
  3. the kids couldnt sit still and the daughters kept tlkin to the mom. the son was the quietest & most well-behaved
  4. the dad looked as if he didnt know what to do/handle the kids - he kept lookin at the mom in silent question like he was waiting for the mom to tell him what to do that at first, i wondered if he was actually their dad or the mom's bf or something
  5. the mom kept fussing over the kids. most of the time all 3 kids were well-behaved, they had magic pens & sat down to draw/colour stuff. but it seemed as tho the mom was trying to get her kids to be MORE well-behaved. =S even tho the daughters werent talking or anything she kept putting her finger to her lips to ask them to keep quiet. i think she did that gesture about...almost 10 times maybe? i dunno i saw it sooo often.

All in all, it was a helluva DISTRACTION. Look at the number of things i've observed!! lol. Seriously, instead of concentrating in mass i think the mom was concentrating more on her kids than anything else. & instead of her kids making most of the movements (how they cant sit still) it felt as if the mom contributed to most of the movements!!! That's why it kinda made me lose focus as well as they were soooo distracting. She kinda reminded me of Rebecca Bloomwood from Shopaholic & Baby. lol. Like, seriously!! She seemed as though she was showing off her kids, fussing over them the ENTIRE mass..! If they were naughty, itd be a different thing. But like i said, the mom contributed to most of the distraction! Gosh. Totally weird. I wonder how much of the mass she even paid attention to.

& the dad was also weird. lol. like i mentioned above already. Because the 2 daughters were sitting in btw the mom & the dad, whenever the dad asked the mom stg they had to talk over their daughters. Then in the end, it seemed like their discussion was over taking the youngest to the toilet cos then the dad got up & brought her out in the middle of mass. like what the..lol. The dad seemed so clueless. I definitely hope my husband wouldnt be like this next time. Gosh. Damn distracting.

But gotta say it was a beautiful family. Modern fashionable parents & the 3 children. That's why as said, the scene reeeeeally reminded me of the novel. lol. That whole fuss over her children. Those who've read shopaholic & baby would know what Rebecca Bloomwood did after she had her baby. lol. I wonder if there's another shopaholic sequel...

Saturday, September 20, 2008

WYD

Yep, i'm finally getting down to it. My LONG overdue post. Been really lazy to blog these days. But anyway, here's the account (a VERRRRRRRY summarized one) of what we did during WYD.
Day 1, 15 July 2008: The first place we went was to St.Mary's, the oldest cathedral in Sydney. The first day was pretty much free, the only big event we had was the opening mass at Barangaroo, celebrated by Cardinal George Pell, the archbishop of Sydney. There was a concert at night (in which Guy Sebastian & Paulini performed too) after the mass with amazing fireworks which lasted for a reeally long time! Seriously was a fantastic conclusion to the concert.

St. Mary's cathedral

the interior of the church

the crowd at barangaroo before opening mass


the screen where we watched the mass taking place

guy sebastian!

some of the fireworks after the concert. that thing there is the stage where the mass took place & also the concert


Day 2, 16th July 2008: We had a catechesis session first thing in the morning. All of us had to walk to a nearest church from where we were allocated our accommodation at Blacktown (which was 30mins by train from city! imagine having to travel like this everyday!!), and then listen to a homily/sermon for 3 hours by different bishops from different parts of the world per morning. That is, each morning there would be a different bishop we'd have to listen to. Had this catechesis session for 3 mornings in a row. There was a SA gathering after that, all of us (our parish group) had to take the bus to some suburb from the city where ALL pilgrims from South Australia would gather for a mass. It was there that we met & made some friends with our fellow Adelaideans.

We had the day free after that to go for any Youth Festival activities. These activities were also a 3-day thing whereby there were forums/workshops/concerts/talks..(whatever it was) which lasted thruout the day & you could attend whatever you wanted to attend if you've got free time (when there were no major group activities with the parish group, you could go do yr own stuff with yr own group of ppl). We couldnt really attend that many as most of the time we had other activities on so usually it was only at night that we could go for the Youth Festival stuf. That night we went for a talk by Christopher West. He was reeeeally a talented guy & a funny one too! Topic was damn interesting - about the Theology of the Body. hehee. Was very good. There was a mini concert before his talk & ah. what can i say. Every second being in a crowd filled with ppl with the same religion just..it was so overwhelming. & the excitement & enthusiasm you see in everyone was amazing! Had fun doing the popular "wave" before the talk began.

this was how we slept at our accommodation (a school) at blacktown

where we showered. ho ho ho. thank god there was even hot water!!


the catechesis session

at the SA gathering

Day 3, 17th July 2008: The BIG day! When Pope Benedict XVI appeared on screen in person. lol! Since we were too far from the stage anyway, what could be seen was him on screen. Well, better than nothing..! Esp when everytime we were lucky enough to be allocated to areas where we had the big screen right in front of us! good view. Spent the day at Barangaroo again, with catechesis in the morning before that. Whole arvo was spent with the pope giving speeches in the many different languages he knew - i forgot how many. After that at night, we all went to listen to Christopher's talk again. lol. Couldnt resist, it was too interesting! Anyway, the one there was on that night was a sequel to the one we went before today. A just-as-interesting Part 2 of the Theology of the Body.


everyone waving & cheering as the pope's boat-a-cade came in


those pilgrims who got to be on the same boat as him were lucky!

the pope mobile. some mercedes i-dunno-what model which apparently zooms by very fast

pope waving from the pope mobile

a few of us. oooh that's me right in the middle!! look look!

Day 4, 18th July 2008: Catechesis in the morning as usual followed by Barangaroo again. Most of the events were held at this place. Stations of the Cross was on the whole arvo, it's the depiction of the final hours of Jesus & the devotion commemorating the Passion. There were actors acting representing the scenes at the Passion of Christ. (& i am so jealous cos my bro got to take a pic with the main actors post WYD!!! - I havta say 'Jesus' was quite cute! & with my bro's caption under his pic, it was sorta true the actor looked a bit like j.timberlake!! lol. He was a volunteer for WYD and volunteers get lotsa "access" to things we normal pilgrims dont have access to. They even got a 'private' session with the pope, all the volunteers only post WYD =( ). ANYWAY, at night there was a concert again, part of Youth Festivals. Hillsongs performed, Matt something performed & a few others I didnt really know. Atmosphere was awesome, everyone singing in one voice!

Day 5, 19th July 2008: Was a reeeeeally tiring day. We had to walk from the city to a suburb called Randwick where we slept out in the racecourse that night. It was a 10km walk = 4+ hours!, so you can imagine how tired we all were having to lug our sleeping bags & all the other necessities for a night out in an open, HUGE field. Had an evening vigil that night & it was simply splendid. Every pilgrim had their candles lit & you could just see hundreds & thousands of lit candles in an open field stretching as far as the eye could see...After the vigil, there was a concert again. hehe. Full of song most of the time. & it was great fun! All of us were dancing & there were those Irish(?) kinds of music where all of us linked arms & skipped in circles..those polka kinda dances if you get what i mean. The night was freezing cold, so we danced ourselves warm! hahaa. In the end, i had to take off my layers of clothing. All of us slept camp-style that night - some pilgrims even had tents pitched up. Was a memorable night, first time doing such myself, camping out in the open, cold, winter night. Sadly there wasnt a single star in the night sky. lol.

our parish group - some werent inside as they were still busy eating brekkie - shortly before we left blacktown to head to the city for the walk

walked on the famous sydney harbour bridge, roads all closed specially for us!

not a single empty space spotted!


upon reaching randwick racecourse. already buzzing with activity

candlelight vigil

Day 6, 20th July 2008: It's WYD! Yea, WYD's actually supposed to be this day, the last day & on a Sunday where we celebrated mass with the Pope. Nothing much, just mass then had to walk back the way we came from, except that we were able to take the train home halfway through. I would have died if we were to walk back allllllll the way!! The whole thing ended at about past noon, a few of us went to chinatown for a late lunch & then headed back to Blacktown.

Finito for WYD week. Post Wyd, it was Bondi Beach & Blue Mountains & headed back to boring ol adelaide 2 days after. That's it!! YAY for this post!!!! *whew* If interested to see more pics, they're all on facebook. Too many of them.

Ahh i'm just glad i managed to finally get this post out of my drafts section -_-

Saturday, August 30, 2008

woooooooops!!

I have been SOOOOOOO extremely lazy not only to update my blog but to also check out friends' blogs...! Dont know why. Suddenly am having this stay-away-from-blogs attitude. Just been super duper lazy. lol. I know I was supposed to post about WYD & till now i havent. The post is actually almost finished but god knows how long it's been sitting in my drafts. Oh well. I really cbb finishing off, i just dont have the 'motivation' to blog at all!!

Hmmmm...this has got some sorta deja vu feeling. lol. Exactly what happened to my earlier xanga blog i had. I just lost all motivation to blog at one point that i simply had to close off that blog cos it was heaps outdated. I think the feeling's striking once again..........! uh oh...

Anyhowwww, I will finish off that WYD post soon. I dont know exactly what my "soon" will mean, but yeah. It'll be soon. tee-hee. Plus now the internet sucks so bad, i dont even want to try uploading photos. Might get too frustrated till i accidentally 'die'.

That's it for now.

Till my next post....!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

FINALLY!

I can safely say i'm alright. After a week of misery. sigh. Thank God for that as tutorials and uni "really" start this week. Even though uni's already begun last week it was just the first week, so nothing much. But this week is when the sem really begins..if you get what i mean. Thanks to those who asked after my health & everything. =)

Anyway, about the whole sydney thing, yes i did recover too, just right before WYD! I got freaked out cos the morning when i went to the airport, i still had diarrhoea at the airport!! Luckily tho, after taking some medicine for diarrhoea (next time you have diarrhoea, take imodium! very effective medicine!!), my diarrhoea totally stopped & all i was left with was just my bloated stomach & difficulty burping - as usual -_- But then again, thankfully, i was fine & my appetite all came back on the 14th (i left to syd on the 13th) & i was back to normal just in time for WYD which started on 15th. Everything went well from there. Praise God for that. whew.

Well, what can i say about WYD? It was a reeeeally amazing experience, a once in a lifetime moment..well, that is if i dont attend another WYD anymore. Wonder if i'll end up in madrid in 2011. lol. That's where the next WYD is hosted. Spain! Guess should give it a go if i've got money & if my bro/friends are all going. Or rather, at that point in 2011, it'll be if work will allow me flexibility (cant imagine myself working yet!!). After all, spain's one of the must-go countries which i've missed out on when in europe. SOoo...pretty good excuse ayy?? We'll see about that. Digressing now. Ok. Back to what i said earlier. It was simply awesome and heart-warming to see everyone from all corners of the world gather together for one event to celebrate the same faith. Seriously. There are still hundreds & thousands of youth out there who actually care bout their religion..!! whew!! It's sucha relief, really. I wonder where all the youths are when i attend church though. What a major contrast. Or is it because australian catholics 'have other things to do' and dont practise their faith. or watever. Or maybe the mass i attend is different from the mass the youths would go to which is in the evening. ha. no clue.

The sad part about WYD was that i didnt really get much out of it. Not spiritually. The fun was there, that's a definite thing. It was all fun & "party" & concerts & stuff. But i was really sad & disappointed cos i didnt reap anything to do with my faith. I wanted to at least feel something. Something that would make me grow stronger in faith or closer to God or ..that kinda stuff yknow?? but sadly, i got nothing. & i think that's because i was with a group of friends who wanted more than anything to meet people. Sure, i wanted to meet loads of ppl as well & make friends & have fun but that wasn't my main agenda with this whole thing about WYD. In the first place, WYD's supposed to be a pilgrimage. I wanted to achieve something spiritually. That was my main purpose, instead of wanting so bad to meet other people & all. Sigh. I guess that was what held me back & not allow me to achieve what i wanted to. Oh well. But what's over is over. At least i got a taste of what WYD is all about.

Will be posting up some pics in my next post & write more about WYD & the events then. Now, i gotta shower & make dinner. bah. After all the holidays & the non-cooking weeks, cooking has become a lil like a chore. lol. i'm so lazy to cook now..!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

=(

Why is it that 2nd sem always gets depressing compared to 1st sem. I dont get it. Last year 1st sem was a blast, everything was fun, fun, fun. Same goes for this year. Then now that 2nd sem has started, i'm starting to feel depressed again like how i was the 2nd sem of last year. But i guess this depression is prolly due to how sick i am now. Hopefully when i recover it wouldnt be so bad anymore...?

Sigh. I am physically drained of energy. So much for feeling great during the sydney trip after feeling "sick" before going on the trip. ARGH. So damn annoying having to fall sick AGAIN after the trip. It's horrible..!! It's been more than 1 week already having a cold & as usual a super blocked nose that had to force me breathe thru my mouth instead. This then caused me to have wind in my stomach. Now, i'm suffering from a cold, stomach wind & difficulty burping & constant headaches & something out of place somewhere. I feel half-dead. ='(

Why is it that some ppl can burp so easily without even having to try!? I wish i was them. haih. Having this problem since last year is really..... FRUSTRATING. If there was something to explain more than frustrating. Even drinking warm water doesnt help me. Burping is so hard, i tell you. It only happens after having to rub my stomach or my back or swinging my hands or stg...sigh. How could it be so hard when ee lin could burp so many times just by drinking a cup of milk!? I really wish i could be her! boohooohooo. I am so depressed & anti-social right now. I think it's the wind in my stomach that's making me have a funny feeling in my head cos of the pressure or watever. Super sick. If i've got a cold minus the wind & the headache i'll still be fine. But not with everything...

Saturday, July 12, 2008

.....

i feel like a balloon that i wish there was some sort of needle that could puncture somewhere in my stomach to let all the air out. Sniff. I feel SO terribly bloated that i'll only be ok if i burp as often as possible. To make matters worse, i find it hard to burp. But at least i even get to burp. Sigh. SOOOOOOO shittttyyyyy.......!!! Then again, i really thank god that my diarrhoea has passed but i really hope this mega-bloated-full-of-wind-in-my-stomach feeling will go away soon!!! It is SO friggin uncomfortable i cant even breathe or walk properly. Seriously, if i tried walking with a straight posture, i would waddle a little. I feel like a pregnant woman, the only difference is carrying wind instead of a baby. I'd rather carry a baby than to carry "wind" which is just so useless and causing more discomfort than carrying a baby would even feel. I wouldnt exactly know this bit but even if carrying a baby would give you discomfort, it'll still be more worthwhile. Get what i mean??? Sheesh. I really hope everything will be fine in sydney. 9 more hours till i leave for the airport. Is that supposed to be good or what??? I just hope this thing doesnt ruin my holiday-cum-pilgrimage. But with God, NOTHING is impossible. So i should just trust & believe that i'll be ok, then i'll be ok. RIghT?? Right. Still, i need prayers so i'll really be ok-ok..! Bah. Hate going on holiday when there's something not right with yr health.......

Friday, July 11, 2008

=|

I'm leaving for sydney in less than 2 days & i cannot stop going to the toilet today!!!

I dont even know wth is the cause of this!! What do i even have to pass out if i've already passed everything out - at least i think so? I mean, tell me. If you eat just 3 small main meals & go to the toilet bout 5-6 times, what do you have left to pass out!??! ARGH!!! At least i dont have any stomachache. =S Guess that's the only plus side to it. Gotta fish for the positive sometimes.

But goshhh...i really hope i'll be ok by tomoro man...sigh. I truly hope & pray so. ='(

Friday, July 4, 2008

my new hobby

IS walking.

i've been walking & walking & i've almost covered all the main horizontal streets in the map. lol. Now all that's left for me to cover of adelaide city is the vertical streets & just 1 more horizontal st.

Hopefully all this walking will really help me lose weight =S Fat's been piling on my stomach even tho i havent been snacking on unhealthy stuff for a while. Which is rather weird...Come to think of it, havent really been snacking at all. Oh well. Need to work harder. I miss PSC gym. sigh. But with the petrol price gone up, i wonder how often i can even drive to psc when i get back end of the year!

ahh. my new resolution is to walk for at least 1-2hrs per day. Ever since i finished exams i've been walking at least 1 hr plus per day. So gotta keep up with this. hahaa. & i've discovered so many things in the city i never knew were even there. Havent been along some streets before, even. And morning walks are so refreshing esp now it's been really sunny. Great weather these days.. mmmm.

right. will continue to walk & walk & walk...

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

scraping & recycling

Two different unrelated things. Since i've got all the time in the world, i decided to write about this. lol. I'm suddenly blogging so often arent i?? =D
i cant make a space btw my 2 paragraphs that i have to write stg!
First off with scraping. Must be wondering what i actually mean by that. But the word is basically just the word itself, and if you link it with food, maybe you'd have a better idea of what scraping is all about in my point of view. haha. It's just one of the weird (or unique perhaps?) things i enjoy doing besides the restaurant list and other bunch of weird things i might enjoy doing. lol. I think i learned more about myself having to live on my own & everything. Although before i came here, i already had the habit of scraping everything off my plate leaving it empty & clean after a meal (something i inherited from my dad), i never thought i'd enjoy scraping jars/bottles which are nearly empty. I just get the satisfaction of seeing the bottle becoming cleaner with every scrape & it's also very enjoyable being able to taste the little leftovers that's left in the bottle. The only setback is having the scraping hand aching after the job's completed.

I got to do some scraping this morning cos our Nutino (stg we decided to try out instead of Nutella - it tastes just like Choki-choki!! that choc strip we used to suck on when we were kids!) was nearly finished.

halfway thru the process

scraping done!

As for the recycling, i guess it only started thanks to exam period when we ate home a lot and had heaps of recyclable stuff littering the floor near the rubbish bin. Usually, we'd throw them all away together with the rubbish cos it'd be usually only 2-3 things which wasnt worth walkin to the recycling bin near our place. But cos it was exam period, our trash wasnt exactly full and we didnt want to throw the rubbish away so quickly when it wasnt full yet, thus, decided to pack all the recyclables into its own bags to provide space in the rubbish bin for other wet, dirty non-recyclable things. & since then, i think our recycling habit will be on-going. Which i am glad for =D

My mom instilled this recycling habit into me - something she started on not too long ago when i was in the later years of high school - that when i got here, i just HAD to recycle all my notes & papers from uni even if it meant having to walk to uni just to dump it all into the recycling bin. I just wish there was a recycling bin nearer our place!! Luckily there's one only a 3-min stroll away but that's still only for glass/plastic/cans. Wonder why there isnt one for cardboard/paper!! grrr.

It's funny how my mom used to nag me everytime she found anything recyclable in the main rubbish bin instead of the trash bag for recyclables. I always either forgot, or i had that dont-care attitude that i just threw away everything straight into the rubbish bin. But as the years go by, this habit has stuck to me that it's become part of my daily thing to want to recycle recyclables. I mean if you have stuff to save the environment, might as well dump it in a recycling bin instead of dumping it in another trash bin. Either way, you still have to throw them away, just in a separate bin.

all our stuff to be recycled, already threw a batch away last week! help save the environment!

this and another bag will be going into the paper recycling bin after my results come out!! just in case anything bad happens, i'll still keep all my notes and stuff. but hopefully i dont need them ever again.

Whew & i guess post-exam period really makes me post up looooong random blogs!!!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

.......!!!!!!

WHO WOULD EVER BELIEVE IT IF I TOLD THEM I WAS DOING CHORES THE WHOLE ARVO!!!!!!

.......................

I can hardly believe it myself..!!!!!

Insanity!!! I dont even know how the hell it happened..! I started after lunch at bout 2pm. And since then i havent gotten a chance to sit down till now! & it's almost 7pm! GOodnesS! I think this is the first time EVER such a thing has happened to me.

Started off by cleaning and wiping my table and the objects on it then wiping the bedpost and watever that's got dust on it. Then changed bedsheets and took all my clothes and bedsheets & everything to the laundry room to do laundry. Goodness. I wasted 12 bucks on laundry today. 3 washing machines to wash my clothes, my bedsheets & covers & my quilt. How exhausting. I was practically going in & out of my room the whole day!! While the washing machines were doing their jobs i cleaned the toilet and then the sink. But still dont get how time could past just like that. FOUR friggin hours!!! Maybe even more than that. I was walking here & there till i got hungry. & i thought i'd finish by 5pm and then have time to exercise. How wrong was i! It's already dinnertime & i havent even showered.

My goodness. Have i mentioned how i despise washing my quilt cover. You gotta take the whole big heavy quilt out and after it's done you gotta put the whole thing back in & it's just SO bloody difficult to put it back in!!! Imagine having a big gigantic flabby pillow which you've gotta put into its cover. Goodness. Everytime i wash the whole set of my bed stuff, i'll always lose my patience. & it always leaves my back aching at the end.

When the time came to vacuum, my back was aching so terribly that i had to stand up straight so ever often in case my body snapped into two!! It was THAT bad. ouch ouch. =( Havent done chores for this long EVER. I seriously have no freakin clue how it even happened!!! On the plus side, at least now i dont have anymore chores to do & everything is sparkling clean! I just hope my back feels normal soon!! bah.

bye-bye alarm clock!

This is the first morning in what feels like AGES that i didnt have to wake up to Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" playing thru my mobile phone. I'm actually starting to get sick of waking up every morning to that alarm tune since uni began. Maybe i should change it to some other song. lol. I picked it in the first place cos it was the only "bouncy-like" positive & jolly-sounding tune to wake up to. The guitars in the introduction of that song just makes it really....mmph. nvm.

I started the day off really early today at 8.20am! Yea, even without alarm clock! Even ee lin had to go, "Whoa!! Why wake up so early!?". As if i cant wake up early. hahaah. xD It was weird, i tried to keep awake last nite but i started to feel soo sleepy even before 12! My body system must have gotten used to sleeping early & waking up early the past few weeks.

*sigh* i feel so blissful. like an extreme weight has been taken off my shoulders. If only this was an everlasting feeling, waking up every morning feelin like this. Sniff. But i guess if it was an everlasting feeling, we would've taken it for granted and not even know the blissfulness of it all. aha.

mmm..there's so much i plan to do today. Started off with self-grooming this mornin. Currently i've got my face mask on & it feels so cold & nice. lol. But then the painful part of my facial procedure will come later..which i utterly dislike. If only i've got clear skin without blackheads. Gosh. EVERY single time i do facial and extract them all, they'll still come back. Hell annoying.

Anyway, there's lunch to cook, then need to vacumn later, do laundry, wipe dust off my table(dont even know where all the dust comes from -_-) & wash the toilet & the sink..basically housework. How exciting!!! (meh). Then prolly more self-grooming like doing my nails and prolly finish off my restaurant list. hahaha. Yeh, i'm re-doing my penang "places to eat at" list. More choices this time! Dont know why i even enjoy doing such things. After i finish the penang list, im gonna start on the adelaide list. & how do i plan to do that? Walk around the city and jot down restaurant/cafe names that i come across while im on my way. har har. I thought doing this would be easier than googling cos i kinda got tired googling all those places in penang. So i thought i'd get a direct hands-on thing since adelaide city is so small and i get to exercise at the same time i take down food venues. lol.

ALrighty! Time to cook rice! Hope my fried rice tastes good. woooohooo. Everything in life seems so positive i cant be any happier. =)

Monday, June 30, 2008

YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

EXAMS ARE OVERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh!!!!

Sad part is, i got no one to celebrate with. Cos my neighbour is stil studying. hahaha.

still, it feels sooo good! I went for a long walk earlier & it was sooo windy and cold but it also felt SO refreshing to feel the cold wind on yr face and smiling at the world! hahaha.

I'm so hyped atm. I have loads to do and so little time! I knw, what a way to talk when holidays have just started. I sound as if i have homework. lol. But yeh i have so much i want to do before all the activities for "pre-WYD" come up & then the big WYD itself! Woohooo! i'm so excited as this is my first time ever going for this event which i only got to know about only 4 yrs back?? WHen it's actually been in existence for so long. Ah. I'm just SO glad for the opportunity, being in aus now and the event being in sydney itself. It's gonna be a life-changing experience, i can feel it. Hope it stays with me for life. & hope i get to experience some...i dunno. something to do with god's presence or similar to that. I just want to FEEL something to be able to bring with me thru life!

ok. im crapping a lot prolly cos im hyped!! ahhh! i need to go out!! if only it was a friday night. DAMN!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

time....so precious yet wasted.

I cannot, CANNOT, believe the amount of time i've wasted today. and yesterday. and the day before. totally. instead of reading up on my law and knowing the cases and goin thru all those things.. i somehow find myself ending up with a whole lot of different things. =(

My concentration has totally gone.......!

I really feel like im on extreme ends atm. Before my second paper i was so panicky and stressed and studying like nobody's business (that was the paper i was the most afraid of). After that paper tho, ........i'm acting as if exams have ended!!!!! Which is SO SO bad!!! Gosh gosh gosh. I know i'll regret and i'll start panicking really soon yet i wasted time again tonight!

Instead of reading up and doing more revision, what did i end up doing tonite?? I was sourcing thru modelling material and going thru modelling poses instead of law cases.

OH MY GOODNESS!!

How could I!!

*i'm still trying to force some panicky feeling into me but cant seem to conjure some up yet* =S

I'd better work my ass off tomoro otherwise i'll seriously be meat. Only 2 days left to revise everything. Oh-ho. I feel like I'm playing around with myself. TWO DAYS. my goodness. I need my brain & concentration power back before something bad happens for my law paper!!

OKokok..tomoro really gotta get lots of things done. need to, have to. ARGH!

oh. and i totally forgot the main reason i'm blogging. hehee. when i first heard it my mouth automatically curved up altho i had to feign shock. but it seemed like it wasnt really a biggie to him though. and ever since he got with that girl he's been SO nice and i've learned SO many things he never told me before. The things he wouldnt EVER tell cos of pride. But ever since that girl he's been telling me stuff i never expected him to tell cos he's normally too egoistic to tell. I really really thank that girl for changing him so much. GONE is that prideful, egoistic, mean, (keep throwing in negative words) arse.

The new thing i got today was hearing him admit that he took things for granted when he was with me. He's been admitting things a lot lately & i am just so "awed" by the changed person that he is. I've been amazed since he got with her. Seriously, it's a big change, no exaggeration made at all!

But the main reason i smiled wasnt cos he admitted that but of what he told me before he said that. They broke up. hahaha. I know. It's so pathetic of me but i cant help it. It just makes me happy for some reason. hahaha. Not trying to be mean. But still cant help laughing. You can laugh with me if you want to. =)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

THE day!

Only 12 more days ..........

to a whole load of movies, novels, shopping, eating, magazines, walking, random trips in adelaide, & just about anything i can think of doing with a BIG smile on my face! even if it means walking aimlessly in the city of adelaide. I would walk & walk & walk & be able to smell the air & feel the wind on my face.

AHHHHHHH.............!!

12 days is pretty short. yes, it is. It'll come by before i even know it.

Now all i need to do is to HANG ON!!! & not lose concentration & start "slacking" like what my brain feels like doing now.

boohooohoooo.......i want a time machine..............!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

meh.

this is so far the FIRST night ever after about 2 weeks that i get to relax a bit (for an hour or so) before i sleep.

& that's because i managed to finish the day's topics early. otherwise, studying would normally go up till 11 ish before relaxing only for a few mins, or no relaxing at all; just closing the books, turning off the lights, and jumping into bed.

bah.

LIFE IS SOOO HECTIC WHEN THERE'S EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY WHY WHY do we even need exams???! At the end of the day, we're all going to die. We study our lives away just to get a piece of paper so that we can get jobs. We work our entire lives away and then we retire and die. What is the point really??

If i were the prime minister or queen or..watever it is.. i would abolish exams! mwahaha. how easy it being said. But seriously. Why cant ppl just make use of their talents & abilities to earn money to live a simple life? Everyone's just competing to get the best of the best that if you dont join in and compete as well, you'll be left behind like a shop/restaurant which has got no customers at all.

JEEZ.

There are so many other things i would have loved to do other than study and becoming an accountant (or something similar). Life would've been so much more pleasant if i was working as some musician or composer or model or singer or actress.......or even a blogger. HAH! I would be way happier even if i had to work 2 jobs at once, it consisting of either those listed. It's so much more of what i want than to flip thru pages and pages of written words. It makes me feel sick. *ugh*

If only there were REAL jobs as bloggers. Woweee. i would give anything to earn money just by writing posts after posts of thoughts and experiences & everything you could think under the sun. Just writing articles about your own views and all.........mmmm. Is there a job for that?? mann....

Anyway, i just wrote an entry which totally doesnt prove a point. And i've wasted minutes doing so when i could be doing something else on my most precious first-night-off. AHh!! opportunity cost!!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

hahaha!!

I'm totally laughin at myself right now. hehehe.

seems like there's a whole big mistake there. He got his facts wrong. so yeah. it was ALL wrong. hahaha.

so much for feeling sad last night. even if only a teeny weeny bit sad.

SHEESH!

so he didnt have anything for me anymore. his reason was just cos he wanted me to get pissed at him to stop me from having feelings.

the reason for the whole mess-up was cos i listed those reasons down for him in a numeric way so he didnt have to tell me the reasons himself. since he didnt even want to tell me why he was an ass. So i thought i'd just list whatever came to my brain in point form and ask him to pick whether it was point 1 or point 2, etc etc. and he picked the wrong point by mistake (it all got messed up cos they were 'offline msges' so i couldnt ask further and assumed what he said was right). so the whole thing was a mistake cos he picked the wrong points. -_-

how PATHETIC.

But i am just so glad for that. cos then, it makes me feel much happier now since there's no "wasted chance" and i didnt have to have any "hope" anymore.

How SILLY of me to even have second thoughts. silly, silly, silly, jennifer!!

It's just weird how this whole mistake came as a relief to me instead of more sadness. lol.

Guess that's good isnt it? =D

YAY!

hahahaahaha.

I shouldnt even EVER think of having second thoughts next time. or the slightest bit of hope. or some kinda 'wasted chance' we could somehow build up again. GOSH. that's just silly. I should totally just 100% let it go and not care anymore. i mean, SERIOUSLY. (if it was even possible to roll your eyes at yourself)

I think i live too much in a fairytale world. Just gets out of hand sometimes. Too dramatic.

But cant help it when you want your life to be like a movie somtimes right? sucha nice ending. Imagine having so much hardships & difficulty & hurt, sadness etc. but in the end, you get to end up with that guy and have a happy ever after life.

LMAO

I should just wake up and get back to the harshness of reality.

OMG!!!!!!

I just got back from my free dance class. yes, free. just a contribution of 2 bucks maybe but still way cheaper than anything. he teaches salsa & hip hop and the cool thing about it is that he plays modern music to salsa. so it's exactly like how it is in "take the lead" if you've watched that movie.

ANYWAY. that's not the point! i'm totally BURSTING inside! PRACTICALLY!!!!

I'm supposed to go take a shower now but then i swicthed on my computer first and there was an offline msg.

from him, as usual. we've been having 'offline msges' since he's always not there and im always not here as well whenever both of us talk. we've been tlkin online like normal already just now the only difference is he being attached, and me not.

gosh. the story is so long i dont know how to put it. But to cut EVERYTHING short...

he was being a total jackass last year cos he had feelings for me ............!!!! like O-M-G!!!

sigh. it just makes me feel sadder than ever. altho i know im supposed to be over him. which i sort of am. way better progress than ive ever been thru anyway. heee.

so yeah. we've been tlkin bout certain stuff the past few days like how best friends are supposed to talk. and it just got to the topic of how he was being an ass and yada yada yada and i kept pestering him for the reasons why & the convo was soo friendly & totally nice. JUST FRIENDS! I feel like im blabbing but i just dont care. there's just too many things to say and my emotions feel like someone's just used an egg beater on me. thoughts are swirling about and i totally dont know what to feel.

oh. i feel sad.

haha. i forgot. but not sad-sad. just ... a teeny weeny bit sad. how things have to always ALWAYS be this way. just because of my parents..?

and then thinking thru all this and how ee lin & i mentioned about the movie "my best friend's wedding" a couple days ago, it just makes me feel a bit scared how it'd all turn out to be. i might take julia roberts role in the future. but i really hope this doesnt happen. sigh.

...........sigh.

i totally cannot believe it. finding out about this just makes me feel so.........arghh!!!!! like why has it got to be this way!?!! and he has a girl now. and he treats me as a really good friend. not that i mind...but.. mmmm. a little bitchy secret. i always hoped (& still hope) things dont turn out right with his relationship. I cant help it. i dont know why. i'm supposed to be over him and all. but i feel sort of "happy" everytime i hear stuff that it's not workin out well, or they had an argument or whatever negative thing there is to it.

ARGH!!!

what is WRONG with me!? i dont even know what i want atm..!

But girls. this is really a msg to you. whenever you have girl instincts telling you somethin strongly, NEVER doubt it. i've had many MANY instincts before & so far, they've all proven to be true.

Last year. I always thought he was being a jerk cos he had feelings for me and being an ass was just to camouflage his feelings. this issue was discussed among some good friends of mine, all of us wondering what it was actually all about...but then all of them told me not to think too much. and i myself didnt want to think too much either. cos it could have been anything. it could've been he being an ass cos of me having feelings for him, and maybe being mean would help me "hate" him (which is actually his other reason). so yeah. i decided to narrow down the reason he was mean to me to only that. It's always safer to take the negative than the positive neway. so i just discarded the possibility (& my always bugging instincts) that he could've had feelings for me then.

UGHH. whatever. what am i even tlkin about?!

but seriously. sigh. my instincts have always been right. so far. not just this thing but with other issues as well. let's hope they'll always be right. i'd need to learn to trust my instincts from now onwards....

arghhhhhhhhh!!!! i could just continue to blab blab blab..........!


Friday, May 9, 2008

bang bang boom!

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!!!!!!!!!

that's just what i've been doing.

ARGHHHHH!!!!

If only it was being busy with fun & games & social life. Oh, how i WISH!

Anyway, somethin really random but i guess there are still guys out there who are reeeeeeally nice & sweet & just...angels. For this, im not exaggerating. A friend of mine is actually working just so his gf can come to adelaide to see him. He's working FOR his gf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He doesnt need the cash, he's a well off person. He could survive anytime without working. But he's working just so to get his gf a plane ticket from malaysia to adelaide instead of using his parents' money (cos it's not exactly right to use yr parents' money to buy yr gf an expensive ticket).

Like, O-M-G!

I'd do anything to get a bf like this!!! He doesnt like working, (I mean who does?!) his time is wasted on working......like, he could just choose not to work. That's it. I'm still in awe everytime i think about it. The money he earns....gosh. If i worked, i would want to keep all that money to myself. Lol.

At least this friend of mine boosts the concept i have on guys. Gives me some HOPE that not all guys will be mindless jerks even in a relationship. ALL guys should follow his example. Or more like: if only majority of guys were like him then the world would be a better place to live in. hah.

Alright. Instead of tlkin about unnecessary things i should get back to my assignments.

At least there's an update with a new post.

Friday, April 11, 2008

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I am THIS () close to freedom....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, although not complete freedom like how it feels like after exam, but still!!!!! Even if for a week! I could use that relaxation!!

GOSH.

This week was utterly, totally insane!!! I found out all about my workload only last friday and almost got a heart attack . I had exactly ONE week to finish everything off.

I had:

  • one quiz due this week,
  • one mid-term exam due this week, and
  • one law assignment due this week

Both the quiz and mid-term test were Business Finance (it's an online test but we get a week to do them both, meaning could print off the test and do it offline). The quiz was due today but luckily i managed to finish it off earlier. I started working like crazy the next day (saturday) onwards. Managed to get the quiz done by sunday. On Monday, i started on my law assignment.

AH. which reminds me, the law assignment is actually due NEXT WEEK. But because of late notice by the *eeeee!!!* lecturer, i have to hand up my assignment tomorrow because i'm off for holiday on monday to ayers rock & alice springs! WOOHOOO!! Mid-term break starts this monday onwards for 2 weeks.

So yeh. I guess that was my major heart attack cos the due date for law was when I was away & i was sooo afraid i couldnt finish everything by tomorrow!!

But seriously, it felt like I only got out of my chair whenever i had to go to uni, when it was time to eat lunch or dinner or to take a shower. The rest of the days in this week prior to today, my ass has been glued to a chair any free minute i had.

Sigh.

TORTURE!!!!

3 hours straight of doing work twice a day, 4 days in a row is really really REALLY tiring.

I am SOOO glad and thankful my law assignment has just been printed out and all i need to do is to submit it into the assignment box tomorrow. Now, all that's left is my midterm BF test which is due tomorrow & which i've completed more than halfway and am gonna complete the rest of it tomorrow.

So, by tomorrow arvo hopefully by lunchtime, i'll be FREEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can't wait!!!!