'Everybody sees how you seem; however, only some know who you are'

Thursday, October 30, 2008

"twisters"

No, i dont mean that KFC twister.

........

I simply CANNOT stand people who twist their words around..

Whether it being
  • twisting their facts around to add extra "stuff" into the story even if those things are untrue;
  • twisting their words and trying to beat around the bush to get away with some lame excuse;
  • twisting what they said around after they've personally realised they're wrong/dont make sense yet they don't want to be wrong; or
  • twisting everything into another whole different meaning just so they can be right - even though they started off with some other meaning (well, basically almost the same as previous point)

It is HELL annoying.

Too bad i know a few people who are actually "twisters". Sigh.

But then 'patience is a virtue', so it gives me a chance to at least work on that.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

friends

Sometimes i just wonder this: "who the hell are my friends!?"

Ok, maybe for the obvious ones, I can really tell. Friends from high school, friends from church, friends you've known all those years back & all that.

But really, i should rephrase my question.

WHO THE HELL ARE MY REAL, TRUE FRIENDS??!

For crying out loud. Sometimes I just dont know. This, i'm talking from a "close friend" sort of perspective. Not just some acquaintance or friend, but someone who has known to a certain degree, the details of your life. Your secrets, dreams, hopes...THAT kinda friend.

I mean, i do know who they are. It's not like im saying i dont know who my real friends are at all. I do know a number of them whom i am VERY sure are my true friends. There's somehow a mutual feeling/trust/understanding & you just know he/she will be there for you or is thinking of you even if you dont keep in touch for a while.

But other than that..........the rest of them.......uh-uh. Clueless. Friends that go all the way back, friends you thought would always be there, friends you once thought were your BEST friend.. I dont know if we're even close anymore! Even though I always had this thought that they'd always have a space for you, i find myself doubting this thought now. Cos as they meet more people & form more friendships, you tend to be forgotten. Sad fact.

Maybe I'm just wrong & i think too much or whatever. But what happens when you've done yr part in trying to keep in touch & there isnt any response from the other side? Every single time it's always you being the one to initiate a keep-in-touch email/conversation/msg - & they might or might not reply to that. But even if they do reply, they never initiate.

So then, i wonder to myself, "Do i really have such an insignificant impact in their lives that they just dont bother so much?? Am i that insignificant?!". Seriously, i wonder this allll the time. ARGH. It's HEAPS frustrating i tell you. It's like chasing after a friendship(s) wondering if they still treat you as the friend you perceive the friendship to still be. But when they cant make time for you but you find out they can make time for others - that's when it hurts.

Sigh. Maybe i shouldnt bother anymore. It's just that I'm the type who simply hangs on to the past & memories that i cant bring myself to waste all those. But since they dont bother, i shouldnt waste my effort anymore right? It's just like trying to light a match which is wet. There wont be any fire. I'd rather use this effort to be with the friends i know are REAL. GRRRRRRRRR!

These real friends i know to be real had better stay real!!! I feel like im losing my friends. & that's why the constant thought about how much impact i actually have in my friends' lives to make me be remembered/forgotten.

ahh..yakking all my feelings in a post - havent done this in a while but sure feels gooooood.

Friday, October 10, 2008

lalalaaaa.....

Funny how there seems to be SO many other things to do when it comes down to doin work.

You suddenly realise you haven't paid your rent, so you go to online banking & transfer cash & then get to that rent website to pay online.

Then you also realise you havent calculated the total of last month's expenditure - so you take out the calculator & start calculating.....& then get disappointed at yrself for going over the monthly budget.

Then you just have to check facebook to see what's new even though you've just checked a few minutes ago.

Then there's the urge to chat with friends even though you talk to them all the time.

& that's why im also blogging now.

Hooray!!!

Anything to escape reading work/life-shitty-balance articles.

Oh well, i'd better get back to reading it or i'll be screwed!.........which i already am.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

counting the days

Once i finish this last assignment which is due this monday, i know the days will zoooooom by quickly!

Even though it means having to study my ass off for exams ONCE MORE, it just means the days are drawing nearer to when i get to the airport!! whooooo!!! i loveeeeeee going to the airport - only if it means taking off to some other place where fun awaits!

ahhhhhhhhh!

totally cant wait for summer break this year. craving everything it has to offer 10 times more than i did last year! yeeeeeeeeha!

dum-be-dee-dum-dum

okay time to sleep

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Kuda Gila

Which literally translates into Crazy Horse. lol.

& that's the name of the strip club I went to last night.

How ever did this come about? lol. it's pretty funny actually. Very very impromptu. It's cos i've been "excitement deprived" lately & whilst tlkin to jen online she jokingly suggested that i should go to madame mozelle's or some sort like that (we later found out the name's actually madame josephine when we went last nite lol). That's a male strip club which is just beside Crazy Horse.

ANyWay, her joke hatched into a plan - since both of us havent been to a strip club before, we decided to do something since we had nothing on last night. Thus, decided to go to Crazy Horse which is a female strip club - instead of the male one. Since Crazy Horse is also more popular.

So yeah. Her housemate (who decided at the very last minute to follow us cos he's already been before), she & I headed over to Crazy Horse before 9pm last night. It was a strict "rule" to go there before 9 cos I found out from my friend that entry's free if you enter before 9. & i DEFINITELY wanted to get in for free - that was the whole purpose. Cos i obviously do not want to pay to see naked girls when I myself look about the same, naked. Ok maybe not so, since those girls have more assets than I do but you get my drift. I didnt want to waste money on that.

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Guess what!!! I was soooooooo annoyed I had to waste 15 freakin dollars for entry last nite!!!! I was sooo "arghhhh!" so i asked the girl why we had to pay & when the free entry actually was? & she says,"Oh, it's free every night actually. It's just that the boss wanted entry fee this weekend cos it's a 4-day weekend". LIKE WTH!!!! ARghhhhhh. So much for wanting to save!!

Ok, so what's happened already happened. Moving on.

It's quite typical really, like those you see in movies. The setting & all. Basically it looks like a model runway. Just a runway with poles here & there. I wasnt exactly very excited or...whatever-feeling-it's-sposed-to-be when seeing those strippers coming out. It just felt normal like i've seen all & been there before. LOL. Don't ask me why, i dont know why either. The strippers all come out one by one, individually, perform their thang for a few minutes, leave & then another would come out & so on.

Some strippers were really hot. They've got awesome bods - makes me want to work harder to achieve mine. lol. I'm still workin on it. Dont know how/when i got into this phase to want to get a great bod with as little fat as possible.. & abs..hm. But seeing all those really made me want to get it!!!! I'm quite surprised tho, that there were some strippers who were quite plump & not that tall too. Those were an eyesore..Like really. Wth man, exposing yr body to the public when you're not in good shape at all. gosh..

Anyhow, jen's hsemate decided to purchase this..dont know what you call it, but we were all sitting close to the 'runway' & most of the guys there bought money from the waitress - it's this wad of fake cash you use to pay those strippers to have them do "something" to you. Imagine the casino. Paying real money, to get fake money, then using that fake money to win (or lose in the gambling sense lol). SO yeah, the guys there all hold out those notes & when the stripper comes about, they'll get a "boob wash". lol.

& yeah jen's hsemate bought 10 bucks worth & he used up only a bit & was asking us to help him finish it off. & i was caught off guard. When the stripper came over to our section he paid her & pointed at ME! like omg. even tho there was a girl there who also had a "boob wash" it's still embarrassing & i totally didnt want it. But then even refusing, everyone was being expectant & there were this 2 guys near us who cheered so in the end i had to put my face to some stripper's boobs & let her jingle it all over my face. LOL. Se-rious-ly. I wonder how guys get so much excitement from these things it amazes me. But it was an experience tho, at least something intersting to do rather than staying home.

Jen actually got her "boob wash" first, followed by me. So actually, i wasnt really caught off guard - since i KNEW that guy was gonna make us help him finish off his "money"!!!! sheesh!

Still, i'll just take it as some experience. hehehe. & when we had the "boob wash", at least the stripper was still half clothed - as in bikini mode. So we ddint have to put our face to bare breasts. lol. whew.

So that's just the account of the once-off event. Just so you know what a strip club is like. Thanks to jen for bringin that idea up, at least now i've been to a strip club. HAR HAR HAR...! & might as well seize the opportunity since home doesnt offer things like this =)